Abstaining from cutting

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by Oloriel, Dec 6, 2010.

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  1. Oloriel

    Oloriel Well-Known Member

    I have to last the next two weeks without self harm. I HAVE to. I've set my goal for that. My family is coming to visit me in Tokyo for Christmas (and let me tell you, I have mixed and apprehensive, uneasy feelings about having to spend so much time close to them - being away has been a relief), and I can't afford to have such prominent scars. I know they'll see and they'll question me, they'll be angry, they'll make me go home. I don't know if all my scars will heal enough in two weeks, but I have to try. No new ones. I can just hack and slash myself up the day they leave, but I will NOT let myself do anything before they get here.

    Think I can do it? >.< Wish me luck.
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Try to keep this going for you...and it is so good you have been able to stop for this length of time...J
  3. Decode

    Decode Well-Known Member

    You have my very best, i know its hard. You can do it.
  4. Johnnyc

    Johnnyc Well-Known Member

    Just remember all those little coping tools such as the ice and stuff in case you get those urges.
  5. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    you can do it! i believe in you. one day at a time.

    don't forget all the coping tips. squeeze ice. write in your journal. draw on yourself with red ink. rip up a phone book. all help.
  6. Oloriel

    Oloriel Well-Known Member

    I made ice today in my freezer. :sweat: Technically I did it because I burned my hand (on the stove) and wanted relief, but now you guys have reminded me, it'll be a good thing to have around. I like the sound of that drawing on myself idea, too! I've never heard that one.

    Thanks for hanging with me, guys. :hug: When I realized I couldn't let my family see my scars, I knew this was the place to come for support. Seriously. You all get me through the day, even if I just lurk. I won't be able to come online as often when my family gets here, sadly, so I'm gonna get my fill now. ^_^

    I nearly cut today - not even for depression...just for the hell of it. >.< But I dunno, I distracted myself somehow. So, good so far, I guess.
  7. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

  8. StevenSiew

    StevenSiew Well-Known Member

    Please don't cut yourself. If you need some relief, try hitting your left knuckles against your right knuckles. Or do some pushups.

    PS: your nightmares are horrifying. I don't even have nightmares.

    Steven Siew
  9. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    I have faith that you can resist the urge to harm yourself Oloriel. If you feel the urge to harm yourself, just remember that you are harming a creation of God. Be strong and you can beat this. :hug:
  10. Oloriel

    Oloriel Well-Known Member

    I did the ice again today, hekps but onky a little. Then i tried the drawing all over in red ink, felt good, felt even bertter wen i tried to wash the ink of with a piece of the ice. Like pain and blood together agian for a bit.
    Tue marks are stikll there, though, though i ttied to wash them off. maybe i pressed too hard with the pen? now i have slut, worthless, nothing, ***** written all over me, so at last my outsode corresponds with my inside. a bkassing perhaps. sorry for the post fail - I took a slight overdone on my sleep meds to consider an attempt tonight, and ended up tattooing myself a s*****. i can't see straight.
    anuyway, thank you again everyone who's helping me and showing me ways tp get thrpigh this. I love ou all, bad spelling aside. I just have to thank you from the bottom of my heart. What if tomorrow, one of us isn't here? Then just in case, I muct tell you all that I love you, a nd I am grateful for each and every one of you, even the ones I havem't met yet.

    I want to die so mych. So very much. I would do it now, now, now, if it wasnt for my boyfriend. I need hims si much. A part of me s dead when he's not here, I feel it. I am broken, but I am broken even more when he's not here. I need you, Tim. I need you.

    I'm so sorry everyone for putting you through this
    I so sorry
    i love each and every one of you and I pray you will have wonderful days ahead of you
    going to bed now, not death. I'll be back soon. No one needs to worrhy abotu me. adter all, I'm syre no one does.

    Love to all. I can't express this enough. Sometimes all we need to pull us back from the edge is a little love from a stranger. WEll I am a stranger, and I love you. Whoever you are.

    Night, friends.
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