been a while since I last posted... been so busy with things lately. because ive been so busy I started abusing alcohol, prescription meds, and otc meds...again I felt like I needed to bring myself down from the day. Lately I've been so stressed out that my suicidal feelings/thoughts have been coming back. To keep my mind from racing I'd go take a shot of something, or a pill, or a swig of some nyquil Just took some of the latter. I'm really disappointed in myself, I'd been off and away from all this for almost a year! I wouldn't say that I was completely sober, I like to go out with my friends and drink socially (just one drink, then it was plain coke for the rest of the night). I thought I was stronger than this nonsense. I remember the withdrawals and how awful those were, but I can't stop myself. Working full time, going to school full time, and trying to fulfill my social obligations have caught up with me so I've turned back to my old enemies. I hate harming my body like this!