Abuse or not?

Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by Hurted, Jul 17, 2011.

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  1. Hurted

    Hurted Well-Known Member

    OK, this post may sound strange, but here it is.
    I was talking about my childhood and my relationship with my mother (i never lived with father) to my friend today and he said my mother was abusive.

    It was very surprising, as i have never thought i would consider my mother abusive, especially because her actions did never left any negative consequences and Im pretty spoiled for someone who is 20 yo. She always gave me love and everything i need.

    However, she was often violent. As far as i can remember, she often slaped me or scratched my hand (she never caused me any severe injury or something like that, but i still have a few scars). Usuly she was telling me what i did wrong and then slapped me every few moments, it was not hard and it wasn't lasting long. It was often happening in the car and i was always very anxious when we she was angry and we went to the car. She never beated me severly, except few times. She was also often treatening me to call my friends and tell them what i did... it was quite humiliating. She was also calling me fat or something simmilar... She was sometimes calling me names. However, this was only for a few years. When i think of it i actually realise that i don't remember how often was she doing it... i don't know why, i think it was not daily and after a while she would do it only from time to time. She had severe depression and was abused as a child. I was extremly stubborn and hard to raise type of child, so i think it's pretty normal for parent to sometimes lose control.

    It does sound like mild abuse when i look at it now, but not like a real abuse... i mean everyone does mistakes and after all, my mother would do everything for me and at the end of the day she actually did. I would have droped out of school if she would not make me study when i was child...

    So the point is, i don't think i can consider this as an abuse? I don't know, i know people who live with parents who beat them daily and abuse them in so many ways, so i dont have the right to complain.

    I remember my childhood as very happy... sure, i had some problems, i was outcast and had severe anxiety, but it was not because of her or something.

    I would just like to hear objective opinion about my situation. Thanks. :D
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    she verbally abused you physically abused you she may have been ill but that does not give any mother the okay to cause harm to her child yes abuse you have so belittled in your brain perhaps becuase it became the norm for you
     
  3. starryeyed

    starryeyed Well-Known Member

    Sounds like emotional abuse really.If you dont feel traumatised thats a good thing.
    You say she showed you love,maybe try and focus on that.
    Im glad you have some good memories
     
  4. Jeserai

    Jeserai Well-Known Member

    Sounds like abuse. But it also sounds like it didn't traumatize you. That's a good thing. I hope you can hold on to the good memories.
     
  5. Hurted

    Hurted Well-Known Member

    Thanks for opinion. :)
     
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