Abuse... Will it ever end?

Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by Special-Agent-Gibbs, Aug 17, 2012.

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  1. Special-Agent-Gibbs

    Special-Agent-Gibbs Safety and Support SF Pro SF Supporter

    In the 7th grade things were bad I would be up all night scared to sleep scared that he would hurt me feeling like crap because he insulted me so so so much so I would go into school and they could tell that I was scared because someone would come up to me and I would jump out of my skin and then I would be bullied until I could not take it anymore then I would go home and sleep all day and after that stopped working I would go home and cry and cry then I started cutting and my home life would keep getting worse and worse and the several months later my parents found out I started cutting so they brought me to the hospital and I sat there for 12 hours and then at 4 in the morning they sent me in an Ambulance to another hospital and I was there about 20 min I was scared to death I just wanted it all to stop I wanted to go home and I told them that and the I got even more scared I had a panic attack and the counselor came over and told me to calm down and I just couldn't so he threw me against the wall and hit me and left bruises and then I went home because he knew that if he didn't send me home I was going to call the police. at that point I just wanted to die. THE DOCTOR ABUSED ME! Who could I trust if not a doctor I was deathly scared of the police they reminded me of the abuse because when it happened they would always be called I had no one. So the cutting got worse and worse now every time I go to the hospital I get really really scared like its bad and then the counselor at my school called DCF (Child Services) and they cane did nothing blamed me they stayed 3 years and it did not help...


    I guess I need someone who has had similar experiences and can tell me how to get over it. Because i have flashbacks everyday it bothers me a lot I cut because of it.


    Sorry for the long post.
     
  2. anonymousihs

    anonymousihs Active Member

    i'm so sorry this happened with you. i was bullied too. it may sound silly but i'm kind of afraid of the dark now. even though there's no particular reason why i should be. you should tell your parents about the doctor. he had no right to do this to you. are you still underage?
     
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Although you cannot press charges because you were a child and the doctor will deny it, you can still send a letter to the hospital to make sure they are aware of what happened and that they do their due dilligence to not let this happen again...this is horrific...someone who you trusted, a person in the medical profession, violating you when you were most vunerable...but you cannot live through that lens...you can vow to never treat anyone like that and begin a process to be in the helping field to watch over children...that is one of the reasons why I do the work I do...it is difficult, but you can take the trauma that happened to you and make it the power to assure yourself that no body will steal from you what is yours, your self worth and integrity...I am not sure if you are familiar with the books, The Sunflower by Simon Wiesenthal or Night by Elie Wiesel (who I had the good fortunate to meet several times) ; for me, they are a framework for how I live my life...please know you did nothing to deserve the treatment you received, and that the world is a better place it with you in it
     
  4. Royalsapphire

    Royalsapphire Member

    ...Can you speak us about the situation with the doctor? ...
     
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