Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by starlight2006, Dec 2, 2007.

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  1. starlight2006

    starlight2006 Well-Known Member

    This isnt something that I have posted about before, and it isnt something that is always at the forefront of my mind. I think about it sometimes, but it doesnt control my life.

    When i was 6 I was raped by my brother. I only remeber the one time, but im not sure whether it happened again. For years it was just a broken memory and I was unsure whether it actually happened. But a few years ago, he apologised for it. And although I know you will all think its strange, I have forgiven him and love him to bits. We are really close.

    I was talking to my housemate last nite (K) about my other annoying housemate (A). She has wound us all up. I was saying to K about how if A would have had to have lived our lives there is no way she could of survived them. K then said that our lives probably weren't that bad and i said I disagreed. I have had a lot of shit in my life so far, and don't even know how I have managed to get thro it. K then said 'it's not like we've been child abused or anything' I didn't know what to say to that, so i didnt say anyhting. And the she said 'well not as far as i know'. So now i dont know if she suspects or not.

    I dont wana tell any of them because it will make them look at me differently and i dont think they could understand how i am so close to my brother. Plus if i tell them i was raped, i'll have to elaborate and tell them who. And that isnt something im prepared to do because i dont want them to look at brother when he visits and thats all that they can think of. Plus i have another brother, who they know i dont get on with so much, so would probably end up thinking it was him and i dont want that.

    Its jus got me thinking. I dont know if anyone else in the family knows about it. I dont think they do but it would explain alot.

    Sorry for the long ramblings. Star x
  2. the_juggalo

    the_juggalo Account Closed

    thats fuck up your own brother :blink: sorry just shocked me alitte and i have lost my train of thought now hmm.:mellow:
  3. starlight2006

    starlight2006 Well-Known Member

    maybe so, but he was young and stupid. and I dont see him as the same person anymore
  4. the_juggalo

    the_juggalo Account Closed

    ok but do u think if u tell your roomates it happen they will look at u diffrenty or something?
  5. starlight2006

    starlight2006 Well-Known Member

    yeah they probably will, which is why im not telling them anything
  6. smackh2o

    smackh2o SF Supporter

    Was your brother quite young at the time?
  7. starlight2006

    starlight2006 Well-Known Member

    yougish being 15
  8. smackh2o

    smackh2o SF Supporter

    I'm not making excuses for him because what he did wasn't right. But at ages like that people are obviously going through very confusing stages, some more than others. I don't think it was intended to hurt you. I could be wrong of course but the very fact he appologised seems to say it was a mistake. I am glad you two get on well now.
    I wouldn't advise telling your friends about that straight off. I think you're right about it making things harder for you by them looking at you differently or your brother. But if you feel you should be talking about it to someone, because it isn't a good idea to bottle things like this up, then maybe some sort of therapist or someone you can trust with it, like a close friend who won't judge you.
  9. RySp123

    RySp123 Guest

    I agree with h2osmack. Talking to your mates will be unproductive and your relationship will change compltely. Your relation is house mates, perhaps some friendship, but this personal issue is none of their business if I can express myself this way. There are areas that none must cross the line and respect the privacy of others and here is where you must draw the line.

    What is correct to share and what is not proper. In this case, your privacy is something sacred and there is nothing to gain from sharing it with your mates yet a lot to loose.

    This is something between you and your brother..... not between your brother, you and the house mates. It is personal, private. You can always sidetrack them should they try to invade your privacy. Should a word too many escape your mouth, you can admit having been through some abuse without specifying what kind or from who. Put a full stop to that issue should it arise.

    If you feel the need to talk about it, like h2... I'd go to a therapist or counselor but no family members, no friends as dear and close as they may be nor house mates. Whoever you will talk to about this is bound to have mixted feelings and would react no matter how they wish not to.... if they care for you then it is to be expected so they can't be impartial and what would come forth successively would be negative. Choose someone that has noting to do with you, your family, friends etc..... a complete stranger as neither the issue nor emotions, judgement etc will never interfere during discussions. That is why a therapist or counselor is a much better choice than others. Also a therapist or counselor has knowledge, tools etc to help you out whereas as much as they love or care for you, family-friends-mates do not have nor possess.... Do not jeopardize your relations to satisfy curuisity of some mate.

    May I ask what bothers you really in all this? The abuse doesn't seem to over bother you, but the fact that your housemates getting involved into your privacy does.
  10. starlight2006

    starlight2006 Well-Known Member

    it jus got me thinking about how ignorant she sounded. I have only lived with her for a couple of months as she is new to our house. I wouldn't of said something like what she did, because i wouldn't want to assume anything. If u've been abused you dont tend to be that open about it.

    And it jus got me thinking about 'it' itself. If other members of my immediate family knew about it, it would explain alot of things that happened in my childhood. But then there are other things it wouldn't explain. It's not something im ever going to bring up, so i wont ever know. Jus made me curious about it.
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