abuse

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by anonymousihs, Aug 10, 2012.

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  1. anonymousihs

    anonymousihs Active Member

    Hi,

    I was emotionally and verbally abused every single day by my dad for as long as I can remember. I was also sexually abused a few months back. It seems funny writing everything here because it sounds so fake that I've had so much stuff to deal with. But anyway, I was also bullied really bad by my friends for a few months. It seems like suddenly everything is weighing in on me. I feel like I'm going crazy and I have thoughts of cutting myself. I've never done it before but sometimes it takes all that I have to stop myself. I want it all to stop but i don't want to die because i like to party. I haven't told anyone about any of these thoughts because they'll judge. Does anyone know what do i do? i don't know how long i can go on like this and i miss my old self from before all the bullying. i'm really really tired of my life..

    Anonymous
     
  2. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    I'm so sorry that this all happened to you...and you should definitely talk to someone about it...that can be really helpful. You won't be judged because it's not your fault...but if it's hard for you to talk to people in person, maybe talking to someone on here will help. You can talk to me if you need someone to talk to.
     
  3. anonymousihs

    anonymousihs Active Member

    Thanks for replying. I have tried to talk to counselors on phone but I just can't bring myself to talk about it. I don't know which of these things bothers me the most. But I'm really scared because I feel like I might do something. I found out the least painful way to die as well. I'm really scared and I wish I could tell my parents. But they are so conservative. Every night I have trouble sleeping. I cry for I don't even know what reason. I want the pain to stop. It's driving me crazy. The guy who abused me was a random guy I met at a bar. I made out with him before. If I tell someone, they won't even care about it because they'll say it was my own fault this happened. I know it's true, but I also know that every single person has made out with at least one random person they met at a club or bar. Bu it never happens with them. Had to happen to me.
     
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hun it was not your fault ok you talk to your parents or your doctor you need to let someone know so they can help you hun hugs
     
  5. anonymousihs

    anonymousihs Active Member

    I'm so glad you said that because nobody ever said that before but I'm really sorry I can't tell them. They'll hate me forever. I already make their life miserable. But I'll try telling my counselor. :)
     
  6. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hun that is good hun your counselor will not judge you but will listen and help you to heal The fault and blame is on your abuser hun never you hugs
     
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