Abused becoming the Abuser

Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by Socialman, Dec 4, 2010.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Socialman

    Socialman Well-Known Member

    I've read some stuff on abused people becoming the abusers when they grow up or get married. Subconsciously mimicking their parents behavior. I was wonder if anyone else worries about being the abuser? Personally, I was abused by my sister, and now I have an awkward crush on my cousin. The thoughts of kissing her and being intimate give me such huge guilt that sometimes I want to kill myself. I would and will never hurt her the same way my sister hurt me, but I was raised that bad thoughts are just as bad as intentions from my Christian father, and that I will be punished for my "mental adultery." It makes me feel as if I'm abusing her even when I'm not. I'm borderline suicidal from this crush.
  2. Johnnyc

    Johnnyc Well-Known Member

    There is no shame in having a crush on a cousin, it is completely normal when you know so much of a persons life and personality, it as if it were a crush on any other,but this must stop at only a crush.
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    I truly believe it is not what you think, it is what you do...I had a crush on my cousin for years and now he and I are best friends and never acted upon our attraction...nice to see people and things that bring us pleasure...J
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    omg i too had a crush on my cousin wanted to be kissing cousin lol it is normal to want to be close to someone that truly cares I knew it could never be it was just thoughts and one grows out of them eventually
  5. Indian81

    Indian81 Member

    Thoughts alone should not be a problem - acting on the thoughts would be. Don't beat yourself over something that is not harming anyone.
  6. doityourself

    doityourself Well-Known Member

    good post^^^

    And I totally agree, our minds can play some pretty wierd tricks on us.
  7. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    That's absolute bullshit and everyone knows it. Everyone has bad thoughts at some point in their lives. Does that mean everyone is going to Hell? I highly doubt it. What separates the criminals from everyone else, is that we have the rational sense not to act on our bad thoughts. I agree that it's better to always have good thoughts, but if bad thoughts enter our minds, it's up to us not to act on them.
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.