Abused, Denied, Menipulated.. *cry*

Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by ~CazzaAngel~, Feb 24, 2007.

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  1. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    Something has happend to me that really messed with my world, when I was about 12 years old a new girl at school had asked me over to her house and I had no friends so I went over, he father always made jokes and was nice to me I thought he was just a nice guy, but he was flirting with more or something, he started molesting me but I just let him I'd been raped for years by my step father. And I was then recognized as "Family" after that, his son, daughter-in-law and 2 daughters knew and thought nothing of it what-s-ever. And I held on he was all I had, after I got older he tricked me into beleiving everthing he'd done to me was completely normal and after I was about 15 we started a relationship, and he had told me so much and conned me and brain washed me to beleive and think certain things that after years of that I actually started beleiving it and I forgot, I was just there part of something... not only did he abuse me he tricked me into thinking it wasn't even abuse or anything wrong, told me never to say anything out lpoud that Satan could hear it, never talk to therapists cause they will brain wash you and trap you, not to go to church because Satan had possesed ministers to brain wash people to worship satan, that the government worships the devil and they are brainwashing us to be bad and we're going to hell, that they are making a new world or and we will be in a concentration camps, that the united president had to do with the hallacaust, that Jon Benette` Ramsey in bolder colorado was in a cultic sacrifice by her parents, and Christmas is a time that devil whorshipers sacrifice children, and the end was coming soon, he made me study theological codes (supposid) and anti- depressants and such were to keep the "truth" from you. and so much that's barely anything... so much of this and sad thing is.. I didn't remember half of that before an hour ago, it was triggered and all came out.. things... I dunno.. :cry:
     
  2. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Aww Caz, memories surfacing is always a really hard thing to deal with.
    Tell your therapist as soon as you can. :hug: :hug: :hug:
     
  3. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    And now he's raped Nikki and Tracy, 7 and 6.. he's in prison for it now, but I swear last time I was there I started a fight with him I sensed something was wrong by how he was talking and acting with Tracy (6yrold).. and they weren't fed much, dirty clothes, matted hair, no presesnts birthday or xmas, spanked daily, no hugs or kisses, no i love you's, just stay away from me go do something else.. bruises on them.. filthy house ransid. I called child services a few times, but they never did anything, there's 4 kids like like that now. I hate myself. :cry: I CAN'T BELEIVE YOU DID THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! why??!?!?
     
  4. mike25

    mike25 Well-Known Member

    I cried when I read your post. I can't begin to comprehend. Words fail me. They fail me.
     
  5. ybt

    ybt Guest

    it is by no means your fault, carolyn. this trusting nature people have is universal, really, up to a certain point. and thus things happen which shouldn't, but it's by no means your fault.
     
  6. Spikey

    Spikey Senior Member

    Oh babes..... you know I'm here if you want to talk... xxxx
     
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