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Abuser is successful, I'm traumatized

Discussion in 'I Need Empathy and Compassion (No advice wanted)' started by undercoverlover, Jul 14, 2018.

  1. undercoverlover

    undercoverlover both dead and alive until somebody opens the box

    Title says it all. It really doesn't seem fair. He's a successful doctor doing cutting edge treatments and "helping" all these people but I'm stuck completely traumatized. And I'm not the only person claiming abuse. I unfortunately know many of his former patients who now suffer from PTSD. I'm reporting him soon and since he already has a reprimand on his license, hopefully the board will take a little more action and restrict, if not completely confiscate, his license. He has conditioned so many of his current patients, who then insult me for speaking up. I'm just so frustrated and I wish I knew how to feel better about this, but even filing a complaint with the medical board is making me anxious. I was going to pursue a lawsuit for a while until I started having nightmares about seeing him again. I know if I ever saw him again I wouldn't hesitate to get violent since he obviously had no trouble doing that with me. I like to tell myself that while he may have a successful career, he's probably empty and lonely, but I wonder if that's even true. I'm having a lot of trouble finding the courage to report him, even though I know that's indirect and I won't have to see him. It's just the idea of reliving what happened so I can tell my story, and then when they investigate the case, he'll know I reported him and come after me. I'm justifiably pretty terrified and I feel stuck.
    MagickLynx likes this.
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Do what you feel is right, follow your gut instinct. Fight with all the fight you have in you and screw his ''success''. It means nothing and adds nothing.

    MagickLynx and HumanExMachina like this.
  3. HumanExMachina

    HumanExMachina Pizza Spaceman Forum Pro SF Artist SF Supporter

    The abuser is successful at what? Being a bullshit artist? He has to live with himself. He can bullshit the world, but he won't ever be able to bullshit himself. That's his personal and private hell. Simply being himself. Report him. Stand up and say what you need to say.

    Afterwards, remember that you aren't trapped in his personal hell. That's his problem. You're free now in this beautiful and limitless and amazing world. Leave him behind. Outgrow him. Forget him. He's less than a bug under your feet.
    MagickLynx and Petal like this.
  4. gypsylee

    gypsylee SF Supporter

    You obviously haven’t met my ex.. He makes bullshitting (himself and others) an artform.

    Hi @undercoverlover

    There was a big drama in Australia a few years ago after a female doctor blew the whistle on male colleagues for sexual harrassment. It started with another female doctor saying something about giving in to sexual demands being beneficial to female doctors’ careers.. Then the whistleblower exposed this whole culture of male domination and sexual harassment among the medical profession..


    While I was looking for that I saw this, which I know nothing about because I avoid the news these days..

    “Australia will become the first country in the world to introduce a tough new system to protect patients from medical professionals who have been accused of sexual misconduct.

    An independent review has found the current system is outdated, paternalistic, fails to meet community expectations and should be abandoned.”

  5. Innocent Forever

    Innocent Forever Go as long as you can. And then take another step. Chat Pro SF Supporter

    Sending bear hugs...
  6. Walker

    Walker Everything Zen Staff Member Safety & Support SF Social Media SF Supporter

    Things on the outside aren't as they are on the inside. Just like with all of us. He's "successful" but he's a bag of shit so...