both dead and alive until somebody opens the box
Title says it all. It really doesn't seem fair. He's a successful doctor doing cutting edge treatments and "helping" all these people but I'm stuck completely traumatized. And I'm not the only person claiming abuse. I unfortunately know many of his former patients who now suffer from PTSD. I'm reporting him soon and since he already has a reprimand on his license, hopefully the board will take a little more action and restrict, if not completely confiscate, his license. He has conditioned so many of his current patients, who then insult me for speaking up. I'm just so frustrated and I wish I knew how to feel better about this, but even filing a complaint with the medical board is making me anxious. I was going to pursue a lawsuit for a while until I started having nightmares about seeing him again. I know if I ever saw him again I wouldn't hesitate to get violent since he obviously had no trouble doing that with me. I like to tell myself that while he may have a successful career, he's probably empty and lonely, but I wonder if that's even true. I'm having a lot of trouble finding the courage to report him, even though I know that's indirect and I won't have to see him. It's just the idea of reliving what happened so I can tell my story, and then when they investigate the case, he'll know I reported him and come after me. I'm justifiably pretty terrified and I feel stuck.