Practical Advice Abuser threatening me

[MagickLynx]

Magic, that's an awful situation, I'm sorry you're having to go through that. How does she always find out where you move to? Do you remain in contact with any mutual friends, or relatives, who might be telling her where you're living?

Thanks, yes, i had to move 3 times during a time when i went no contact with her for 8 years. She found me each time, this was when i had no contact with anyone else linked to her either and she still found me. I know there is a site called 192 that you can pay to get people's addresses so i am looking into getting that information removed before i move home again. Only other issue is she may have known someone working at social security who passed my details on - which of course would be illegal? But impossible to prove?

 

[Human Ex Machinae]

I know there is a site called 192 that you can pay to get people's addresses so i am looking into getting that information removed before i move home again.

That's an excellent idea., Magic. In the meantime, simply ignore her (I know, that's so much easier said than done). Her only goal is to terrorize you, it makes her feel powerful. The less she frightens you, the less powerful she'll be.

 

[MagickLynx]

That's an excellent idea., Magic. In the meantime, simply ignore her (I know, that's so much easier said than done). Her only goal is to terrorize you, it makes her feel powerful. The less she frightens you, the less powerful she'll be.

That's what i am doing and will continue to do, i told her i want no further contact and i mean it. I understand so much more about people like her now, i watched alot and read alot on narcissist and abuser behaviours and it helped loads. There is nothing more for me to say to her, it is meaningless. I know my own truth and my own memories and there are no words that can take that away. My healing is top priority really.

 

[bobbob]

So i just received a threat from my abuser, telling me i won't get away with having disclosed the abuse?

I am seeing my solicitor asap but i am also wondering if i should contact police too?

This is what i have been worrying about ever since telling about the abuse. That something will happen to me, something very bad. I just don;t know what to do now.

Im so sorry this is happening to u. Please make sure u keep a record of these threats. eg If its voicemail then record it and keep the recording. Dont wait to see your solicitor, phone him/her now and then phone the police. It might be that your solicitor can phone the police for you and make sure they do what they should do.
With this new threat it sounds like you might well have enough for a restraining order. This will be able to say that your abuser must not contact you again in anyway and it will be a serious criminal offense if the abuser does.
But to make sure have enough evidence, as suggested above, keep careful record of any further messages etc from the abuser. As well as recording it, note down time and day.
SO PHONE SOLICITOR TODAY. This will work out OK I think. You did a brave and correct thing and have shown your abuser that you are strong. best wishes R

 

[MagickLynx]

Thanks bobbob (and everyone else who has given support here )

i did phone the solicitor right away and will be seeing them this week, i sure hope it will be enough to get a restraining order or injunction. i am still in shock at receiving the threat but i am somewhere safe and plenty of people know now about the situation. I am quite angry that she won't even leave me alone to just live my life free from her and she has the nastiness to try to set me back a million steps in my healing. She said that i ''chose this path''. This is classic DARVO tactic - https://dynamic.uoregon.edu/jjf/defineDARVO.html

How can an abused person have ''chosen'' to be abused?

I despise her.

 

[may71]

I wonder if you go to a place that is far enough away, and if you cover your tracks well enough, she'll never be able to find you. That would be nice if you could be free from her forever.

 

[Mayarian]

she needs a confinement omg. Im so sorry that you've been through that. Did she probably did anything that crossing the law? If you can contact police and able to show that she's a dangerous person, she could be arrested. Its so scary when the abuser could go freely whenever they want esp when there's so many acid attack too. Please be safe dear.

 

[BlueHealingHeart]

So i just received a threat from my abuser, telling me i won't get away with having disclosed the abuse?

I am seeing my solicitor asap but i am also wondering if i should contact police too?

This is what i have been worrying about ever since telling about the abuse. That something will happen to me, something very bad. I just don;t know what to do now.

I'm so sorry that you're going through this right now. Keep track of all the threats if you can.
Please call the police. Stay with someone you feel safe with for a few days. Please do anything that will make you feel safe.
I'll be thinking of you.

 

[MagickLynx]

I wonder if you go to a place that is far enough away, and if you cover your tracks well enough, she'll never be able to find you. That would be nice if you could be free from her forever.

It would amazing if that could happen some day - it's all i really want.

 

[MagickLynx]

I'm a bit of a mess today, i cried myself to sleep last night and i just look awful now and i feel so drained

I'm going to find out today what can be done about her, if anything

I'm still kind of shocked

I'm safe though

Thanks to you all for your concern and support, it means the world to me

 

[may71]

Hugs MagicLynx

Thanks to you all for your concern and support

You're welcome!

It would amazing if that could happen some day - it's all i really want

Wishing that for you

 

[MagickLynx]

Hugs MagicLynx

You're welcome!

Wishing that for you

Thanks

I spoke to the solicitor today, showed them the letter and they are going to write a letter warning her to not make any further contact with me or else further action will be taken against her. The solicitor looked quite angry after reading what had been written to me. Made copies etc, i felt a bit better after the appointment. Just listening to music now and am feeling ok

 

[MusicMoggy]

Thanks

I spoke to the solicitor today, showed them the letter and they are going to write a letter warning her to not make any further contact with me or else further action will be taken against her. The solicitor looked quite angry after reading what had been written to me. Made copies etc, i felt a bit better after the appointment. Just listening to music now and am feeling ok

That's great progress. Glad you've got your solicitor on board so you don't have to deal with the things he can do for you.

 

[Kiwi2016]

Have been thinking of you and just thought would check in to see how you were doing. Sending you hugs.

 

[MagickLynx]

Have been thinking of you and just thought would check in to see how you were doing. Sending you hugs.

Aww thank you Kiwi, i have been a bit down and crying quite a lot really, and not sleeping as good, but today i am a bit better