Abusive boyfriend

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Fizzled, Oct 3, 2010.

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  1. Fizzled

    Fizzled Member

    Title says it all, he verbally abuses every hour, without fail.

    He will just snap at me for making a mistake, for something so petty, he will rise up, charge at me, go to hit me and then scream at me. I feel very frightened.
    He constantly puts me down with all his heartless words, and he never gave me a chance with anything.
    I'm reaching breaking point that I'm his only thing to vent on, yes he has hit me and done other horrible unthinkable things to me, but how can I get this fixed?

    Do I report it to the police? Do I say to charge him? Get someone to beat him up for me? What do I do?

    Really can't take much more abuse from the guy I once loved.

    Please, anyone, help. PM/reply to this. I'd really appreciate it.
  2. KittyGirl

    KittyGirl Well-Known Member

    Have you left him already or are you still with the guy?
    If you're still with him, you must be strong and leave- for starters.
  3. Fizzled

    Fizzled Member

    Still with him... But not by choice... I can't leave cause I have no where else to go, but I just want to report him, make him have a criminal record for beating the shit out of his girlfriend. I want him to feel what I feel.

  4. KittyGirl

    KittyGirl Well-Known Member

    There really isn't a friend or family member for you to stay with?

    Is he able to be reasoned with at all?
    If you told him how you felt, would he understand at all?
    ...probably not, eh? :unsure:

    I'll tell you from experience... if you send him to jail; he will only be there for a short amount of time and when he comes back, he will be very angry that you 'told on him'. If anything, that would more than likely make things worse.
    I think you need to wait until you have a place to go before you go to the police about him.
    In most towns/cities there are shelters for abused women. They are not as bad as you might think they sound. I lived in one for 2 years of my childhood.
    Perhaps you should look into a shelter and get out before you go to the police (which I think you should definitely do- just not until you have somewhere to go so that he can not track you down)
  5. Fizzled

    Fizzled Member

    I am trying to do that now, but I have no friends or family to turn to, my boyfriend is the only person I could trust before he changed.

    How do I even get into a shelter place? I have no money or anything like that to support myself, it's impossible to get a job, as everyone rejects me the moment they see me. I fear that I won't last long if I did go to a refuge place.
    As for talking to him, I have tried to, as soon as he sees I'm in tears he tells me to stop being a whiney baby and deal with it. He refuses to listen to anything I say, which is killing me.

    Not to mention the fact I love him dearly, but I know he doesn't feel the same as I'm a "parasidic burden" according to him. :(
  6. KittyGirl

    KittyGirl Well-Known Member

    I understand that this is a delicate situation...
    and I'm really sorry. No one should have to put up with that type of behavior - ever.

    Unfortunately, the police can not always help you. With the situation you are in, I feel that it would be risky for you to go to the police straight away; but I could be wrong.
    If you are getting beaten every day, please go to them anyways and get help.
  7. KittyGirl

    KittyGirl Well-Known Member

    And as for shelters; they are free.
    Women who are in abusive relationships don't normally have loads of money, so it wouldn't be right to charge a person to stay there if they are in need of a safe place.

    -- and you might still feel like you love him, but you do not deserve to be abused by anyone; let alone the man you love.
    It is best for yourself if you make a clean break from him and stay away, for YOUR safety.
  8. Fizzled

    Fizzled Member

    He doesn't beat me everyday, but it is frequent. It's mainly verbally and sexually, and I can't escape it.

    I guess I'm gonna have to wait till the time is right... I'm gonna end up on the streets very soon... I don't care if I rat him out then, cause I want nothing to do with him, but for now, I have to keep taking this abuse I've taken all my years.
    Every boyfriend I've had has done this to me, whats wrong with me? :(
  9. KittyGirl

    KittyGirl Well-Known Member

    I wouldn't say anything is wrong with you.
    You are human... sounds to me like you have bad luck.

    Be strong!
    If anything; you should come out of this situation much stronger.
    Don't ;put up with a boyfriend who yells at you or hits you or makes you do things that you do not want to do because someone who truly loves you would NOT do those things!
    Please remember that.

    It took my mother years to get over her abusive relationship.
    She came out of it feeling weak and like she couldn't do anything for herself - but that is how abusive partners make you stay with them. They break your spirit until you *think* that you can not live on your own.
    You can though!
    You can be strong and you can certainly live without them!
    You deserve to be happy and healthy and loved.
  10. Fizzled

    Fizzled Member

    Thanks for the encouraging words, too bad he's already made me feel like scum of the earth.
  11. KittyGirl

    KittyGirl Well-Known Member

    Well, you aren't.
    It might take you awhile to heal but you are truly not the scum of the Earth.
    You are a woman who has been taken advantage of, and HE is a pitiable bastard. A man who treats his woman the way he treated you- is the scum of the Earth.
  12. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    That is why you have to leave NOW YOU are important and you need to call Womens shelter NOW they will give you coping skills to live on your own they will help your press charges against him YOu will not be alone in the fight CAll NOW okay next time will be too late. Womens shelter is the best place for you it is secure and safe. Time for change time to take care of YOU CALL
  13. Fizzled

    Fizzled Member

    I guess you are right, I just don't understand what I did wrong to deserve this.
  14. KittyGirl

    KittyGirl Well-Known Member

    You didn't do anything wrong.

    He chose you as his target, though it could've been any number of women in your place.
    It does not say anything about you as a person except that you are a caring, loving person whom he decided to prey on.

    Just be strong and be your own person- prove him wrong!
    Life can get much better for you but it will never be good for him again.
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