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abusive ex boyfriend

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i was looking through an old diary i have and it brought back some painful memories. about two years ago i met a guy and everything seemed great to begin with he was my very first boyfriend and i was happy after a few weeks he started saying things to me when he wanted me to do something for him he would say but i thought i was your boyfriend or this is a very one sided relationship. he knew full well that i was extremely insecure about the way i looked yet he would make very cruel remarks about my appearance saying i didn't look as good as his ex did things got alot worse and he got even more power over me because he knew i just wanted to make him happy he was the first guy to ever like me and i stupidly told him about all my past hurts including my abusive father which only made things a thousand times worse.one day when he came to see me we were watching a movie and my phone started to go off i had a text from my friend roger my boyfriend started having a hissy fit because he didn't like him ever since he found out that my friend was alot older than i was he then refused to talk to me after that until i gave him my friends number (which he used to threaten him)

my phone was going off all day because my friend had no idea what the hell was going on and he was pissed that i gave my then boyfriend his number.after about two months after that happened i was at my lowest ebb i couldn't take it anymore so i decided to break up with him but i was really scared about what he was going to do to me or what he could do i knew that he was into martial arts and boxing he even used a move on me which he had is are tightly around my neck and he wouldn't let go even when i asked him to when ever i used to see him he would buy beer to try and get me drunk but that never worked but that didn't stop him always trying to grab me.i ended up breaking up with him by email because i couldn't face having to see him again but he didn't leave me alone i ended up having to change my email and number a few times because he would always try and get me to go back to him.i ended up ignoring him on msn he didn't take to kindly to me wanting to break up with him and sent me a nasty email saying that i was just like my spineless bastard of a father which was obviously was supposed to hurt me.

it took about four or five months for him to get the picture and leave me alone i have to admit it really shook me up and i haven't been in a relatioship since and to be honest i dont want to be in a relationship i really dont trust guys to much anymore im afraid that another guy will be just like him or worse.


Well-Known Member
Hey there. :)

Sorry that happened to you but you shouldn't let it traumatize you to a huge extent. Maybe you should seek counseling to try and make sure of that. Some experiences can really get to people, you know, especially given the right circumstances. Use it as a learning experience but don't let it destroy your chances to be happy.

total eclipse

SF Friend
Staff Alumni
Hi you. YOu have great strenght in you you saw how the relationship was destructiful and you ended it. YOU showed you that you will not put up with BS from anyone. Do you see you took control of your life Yes there are alot of cruel guys out there but hun there are kind ones too. You will have to be careful observant not be taken into quickly go slow okay next relationship.
You deserve compassion and kindness and you will find that Be proud of you okay you have strength a lot of women do not have. hugs.

i just have no idea what to do i cant afford therapists or anything the only way i get how i feel out is by blogging but i blog alot and i think that annoys people.one of my friends is always saying that i will find someone who loves me for me but i really doubt it i guess i just dont have much faith in people anymore.
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