Brodie, I feel for you sincerely.
As a man, I find it horrific when other men treat women or children with anything less than courtesy and kindness. Sure, shout at the kids now and again, argue with your women from time to time (she wants a £100 hair -do, you think it looks nice with a £10 home perm kit) - but swearing, cursing, vicious comments and put-downs? That is BULLYING and nobody likes a bully - least of all themselves.
It makes them feel better putting someone weaker down. Someone who won't hit back. I mean, you cannot talk to someone in a pub in this manner so talking to your wife that way is just appalling.
But, I'm betting that living with him for so long that you feel as scared as moving or moving him out as you do in tolerating his treatment of you. Suicide, being stated, means your confused as to what to do and need practical advice.
Americans would know better than me relating to law - but in the UK if your husband threatened to shoot you and had a gun, he'd be pretty much given his own home in the form of a cell. Bear in mind a threat to murder is like someone talking about suicide. YOU HAVE TO TAKE IT SERIOUSLY. Especially if we're dealing with someone who is himself prone to depression and abusive towards you.
I'd talk to friends or relatives about this.
The best tactic would be to pack up some things and leave him. You could go for advice off some women's shelter who will doubtless have access to free legal advice for women in your position.
Staying in a shelter is not that bad. We have one near my home - its basically small flats which are contained and have security. You have shower, TV, small kitchen and all the facilities you expect. More than that you have no BULLY hanging over you. You can sit in peace and quiet for maybe the first time for a long time.
Living with someone, being married - you may have tolerated a lot over the years - perhaps isolated by this man who would not want you having too much of a social life when his ideas seem to be that marriage entails you being his skivvy and the person he takes things out at.
You got to give this man the shock of his life. Because when he has to run the house - when he has nobody but himself to rant at - trust me, he will feel a little bit of remorse. He'll be sorry you stood up to him. Sorry you changed into a women who has finally stood up to this bloody fool.
He is a fool, because if he had treated you with kindness and compassion, with love, then he would not be on his own facing a life in which the people around him might punch him in the face for using abuse.
I bet you were a great wife - and fun to be with. I wish I'd have met someone like you. I might be an idiot also but I know that we don't bad mouth women ever. We find interests that get us out the way so you can chill out and relax doing whatever it is a women likes to do in the precious spare time she might have.
It is a husbands job to make his wife grow in confidence and to be able to live her own life also.
Maybe he needs a BIG reminder about this. Either way you really need to get out and take a break so that you can gather your thoughts. Even a few days might be good for you - shelter or relatives, maybe a friend, I'd veer with the shelter perhaps as you will not feel in the way plus you can talk to people about your problems and keep this private.
My prayers and best wishes.