Abusive Relationship and Abortion

Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by Daisy, Sep 15, 2009.

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  1. Daisy

    Daisy Active Member

    I don't really know in which forum to put this...I hope that this is the right one but if it isn't then can a mod move it?

    last year I got itno a relationship with a fairly abusive guy. Some of my friends tried to warn me but of course I was too stupid to listen to them. I finally broke up with him in September of last year. About a week after I broke up with him I found out I was pregnant. I was in college, has no money whatsoever...I thought about trying to keep the baby and then put him/her up for adoption but my parents would have wanted to raise the baby and where I was living, I knew they could legally manage to take the baby (its a long story and has to do with the small rural area I was in). However, my parents were both abusive to me, sexually, emotionally and physically. So long story short I had an abortion.

    I don't agree with abortion...I never have....I know logially it was the right choice but it still hurts alot.

    Its coming up to that time of year again now and I'm starting to have so many flashbacks about my ex and our relationship. I'm having such a hard time sleeping at night because everytime I lay down all the memories come rushing back and then when I finally do go to sleep I dream about being pregnant again.

    In the last year I've moved to a different state where I don't know anyone and lost touch with all my old friends so I don't know hat to do or where to go for support.
    I feel so lost, sad, and scared...
     
  2. lost43215

    lost43215 Well-Known Member

    I dont know about support options, cause Im up in Canada. Im sure someone else from California can help with that part. If you need/want to talk to anyone, tons of ppl here, and ill listen too :). Why did you end up moving? Have you made any new friends where you are?

    Def sounds like you've had a rough life to this point. Im sorry to hear about the abortion, but your right, it was for the better... if your parents were abusive to you, they'd be abusive to the baby probably, and you wouldnt want your child growing up like you did im sure.

    If you dont mind me asking, how old are you too?
     
  3. Issaccs

    Issaccs Well-Known Member

    I think you made the right choice given the circumstances, you acted early and stopped a lot of suffering and heartache for all involved.
    It was the right choice and if you ever need to chat just send me a message, I will get back to you.
     
  4. Daisy

    Daisy Active Member

    lost43215 - thank you for your support. I am 20. I moved to be with two of my friends and because I wanted to get far away from my family and my ex. Other than the two friends I have here, I haven't really made any friends so that kinda sucks but I'm working to try and get out and meet more people. Its just one of those things that is hard to do when you are depressed you know?

    Issaccs thank you. I really appreciate your support and encouragement.

    I'm doing ok I guess...just really depressed but trying to reach out to my friends and on here and another forum that I'm a part of.
     
  5. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hey you are very strong in making the right decision for you at a very difficult time in your life. I hope you meet someone who can show you respect and care you deserve. Do you have a GP out there yet ask and he or she can perhaps get you some councilling to help you. Call hospital there and ask as well if they know of any help that is available. I am glad you got away from your abusive parents and hope this move will be a new start for you. take care glad your here for support.
     
  6. lost43215

    lost43215 Well-Known Member

    I know what you mean. Ive found that if I just said basically f* it, and forced myself to get out there and to look forward to it, I was able to forget my troubles and have fun and meet them. I think once you have a few more friends and are doing things you wont feel as sad anymore.
     
  7. where were you

    where were you New Member & Antiquities Friend

    I had to do this too and even though I felt bad about it I also know that it was the best thing to do. The guy I was with sabatoged the birth control to control me, he impregnated me so that he could have a chace at controlling me via a child... what an evil twisted thing to do. A baby should be made from love not from this rediculous power tripping. I got out the best I cold but I didn't have any family or emotional support, I had to do it solo.

    After I learned I was pregnant he became instantly pro life and things were very bad. All I could think of is that if I was going to have a baby I wouldn't want to give it up, but I also didn't want to have to chase this guy around for child support and then him playing mind games with the child once it became congnisant. There is no way that baby wouldn't end up being psychologically abused with a monster for a father so I did what I did before its nerves were developed.

    So I can empathize with your feelings. It's up there with being one of the worst. If it helps, the feeling fades over time. Hugs.
     
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