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abusive relationships

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by stig, Oct 12, 2010.

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  1. stig

    stig Well-Known Member

    I have a question for you all,
    you are in an abusive relationship with someone who controls every facet of your life. pushes you around and offers you no help when you are in crisis, tells you that you are pathetic when you attempt suicide. BUT, you love this person.
    what do you do?
    why do people behave like this?

    please post your opinions as i am very interested in others views on this sad subject.
  2. painwell

    painwell Member & Antiquities Friend

    My theory is this...

    I was in some pretty shitty relationships in my younger years, but I stayed in them, simply for the fact that it was better than being all alone. Negative attention was still attention to me... and some attention was better than none. And with a low self esteem to boot you eventually start to think that the negative put-downs must be the truth... at which point you become grateful to that person for not leaving you out in the cold by yourself.

    It all leads into a self-perpetuating downward spiral thats really hard to break out of. However, we do need to break out of abusive relationships, as its harder to find someone who truly cares for us while we are in this emotionally self destructive state.

    Again, just my theory. Worth roughly six and a half cents.
  3. stig

    stig Well-Known Member

    hey, that's all good. i'm just interested in peoples opinions. to get an idea of what others think. thanks for the reply.
  4. hollowvoice

    hollowvoice Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    please post your opinions as i am very interested in others views on this sad subject.[/QUOTE]

    im intrested in this subject too any more views?
  5. doityourself

    doityourself Well-Known Member

    I wouldnt stay with someone who was so controlling, I think eventually you would lose yourself.

    I never understood why some let their partners abuse them, how can someone love you and hit you at the same time. Thats not love..not at all...

    I think people stay because they feel like they are getting what they deserve and that they are better off staying.


    If your in an abusive relationship, get out, reach out for help, you are hurting yourself, and the person that is abusing you. Run, they will not change without help, if they refuse then so do you, refuse to be a punching bag, refuse to be someones rug that they wipe thier feet off on.

    AND most important if children are involved, please for your childrens mental and physical state of mind, leave........Give your children the oppurtunity to grow and to learn what love is. What life can be like when your loved.
  6. Viro

    Viro Well-Known Member

    I don't think that people in this situation really love their abuser. I think they are in love with the idea that they themselves have found someone who professes to love them, even if they really don't.
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