Abusive step father.

Discussion in 'Domestic Abuse' started by xCraigeX, Nov 29, 2007.

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  1. xCraigeX

    xCraigeX Member

    Last night my step father came home late, again. He smelt of alcohol, again.

    He came into the house and started yelling for my mum. I walked up to him to try and tell him that my mum was asleep upstairs - but then he hit me. Not just a slap - a full blown punch into my face.

    This is not the first time my step dad has been abusive to me. He is also very abusive to my mother - but when i discuss leaving with her she always says no because she loves him. I don't see how she can love someone like that -

    what can i do? If i went to the police or anyone my mother would never forgive me. But i can't live like this - i can't see my mum get hit anymore, i can't be hit myself anymore.
     
  2. xXWhateverItTakesXx

    xXWhateverItTakesXx Forum Buddy

    Hun, that's so wrong :( I'm so sorry that you are going through this :hug:

    You NEED to report this, I can understand why your mum doesn't want you to, but it has to stop for you and your mum. If you don't report him it could only get worse.

    Well I think, she says it to be safe, because she fears standing up to him. I could be wrong, but my mum is the same and she is scared to be on her own.

    Please report this, hun :hug:

    Take care, and you can always PM me for a chat, I know it's horrible, you can get through this.
     
  3. RySp123

    RySp123 Guest

    I agree with Sizzoragame. You must report him to the police or social services or both. Your safety and your mother's safety are at risk here
    so it can't be tolerated nor allowed to go on hunny.

    When you get hit, go to the hospital, emergency room, and when asked how it happened tell them straight that you were abused by your stepfather. This way it will be registed and legally a proof of the misdeed and the police can then use it against him.

    He might just be ordered to go through desintoxication and followed by the court to ensure that he actually does and anger management if it is the case. It doesn't mean that he will necessarely go to jail, but you will ensure yourself and your mother a healthier and safer home setting. Know also that should the court order him such support for his drinking problem, shhould he fail to go he would then be charged by the court for it and then go to jail... so on both side of the solution offered by the court you will be safe. Hopefully this will be sufficient to resolve the problem otherwise you can ask the social services to take you out of there and be put in a youth center until a family is available to take you in till legal age so you can continue schooling in tranquility and safety both mental and physic. Tell your mother about your intention and ask her what she prefers..... that you do it on your own or that she will help herself and you ...... ask her if you deserve to be abused and risk your health and life... she is in denial and fear to stand up to him which is normal but she needs to decide .... enough is enough and from what you wrote...... the 'enough is enough' is right now.

    Good luck and let us know how things go (develop). We are here for you.

    granny
     
  4. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I know how hard it is to tell anyone about what is happening to your family, but for the safety of your mother and yourself you really need to do it. Your mother may be angry with you for awhile, but she will soon realize that you did it to protect her from further abuse. You may fear retaliation, or that no one will believe you. Maybe telling makes it seem more real. It is hard to admit that it is even happening. The important thing is the physical and emotional safety of both of you. Abuse has its affects far beyond the time it stops. Let the healing begin now. Don't wait until it becomes too late. :hug:
     
  5. iona_cullen

    iona_cullen Member

    hey I just wanted to say that i have been through a very similiar situation, and i am so sorry to hear how badly you are finding things.
    it is extremely important that you get out of there-with or without your mother. If you show her that you have strength she may also leave, however don't let this cloud your judgement.
    you know what you can cope with and others will tell you what you should do, but it is completely up to you. But, one thing for sure is that you do not deserve this. you have been forced to live in a situation like this, you had no choice. your mother did have the choice, and chooses to stay.
    You are worth more than either of your parents. you do not need to stay. it will only get worse. Tell someone please...let us know how you get on.
    xxx
     
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