abusive

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by jcat, Jun 9, 2007.

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  1. jcat

    jcat Staff Alumni

    i've been using and abusing drugs and alcohol since i was 12(20 years). i've been in and out of jail since i was 15. finally got off all paerwork. umm, i quit shooting meth and heroin in january, but now i'm drinking. hadn't drank in a long time, and started a few weeks ago, just can't seem to stop. i wish i could. it's fucking up my liver worse than it already is. it's going to ruin friendships if i keep it up, i've been to rehab 8 diff times. theres nothing for me in rehab. what the fuck am i to do. i want and need to stop, but i don't have the will power it seems. plus drinking stops the voices to a point. what the hell am i to do????
     
  2. Insignificant

    Insignificant Account Closed

    jcat i sure as hell wish i could tell you how to handle this. i too abused drugs and alcohol for twenty yrs. i quit drinking six yrs ago. one nite i got as drunk as i had ever been. so drunk i couldn't even get sick (which i always would) so i ended up passing out. i ended up throwing up in my sleep that nite. thank god my kids were with their dad then. it took four full days to recover from that one nite. but something dawned me from this experience that if i should of died from that particular incident it would of been my children who would of found me. i had a hard time dealing with that idea so i quit. haven't picked it up sinse. i did actually by my first bottle in six yrs just a week ago, but i haven't cracked it open. and it's not tempting me right now either.

    but drinking wasn't really my biggest problem. drugs have always been my downfall. that is one i don't know if i will ever be able to shake. i have been clean now for nine months and it hasn't been easy, but the only way i can find to deter me from doing that is accepting that when i do it i only end up crashing mentally and emotionally when it's all over. and so many times have ended up in the hospital cause it gets so bad. i don't want to go there.

    so maybe all i can suggest is maybe trying to find the disadvantages to using substances. it's hard at first and i know i didn't want to accept it, but it turns out it's been useful after all.

    i won't bore u anymore with my ramblings. but i do hope for the best for you. please continue to share that can help too. please take care
     
  3. Beret

    Beret Staff Alumni

    Drinking is just another copin system and we feel we can get out triggers to take drugs out of our system. But that wont last very long :( , one of those days you will find some druggy friends and releapse, sth you definantly dont want to do. Please stay strong, and perhaps you want to consider to go to some AA meeting or so.
    Good luck hun :arms:
    Youre in my thoughts,
    Beret xxx
     
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