Well it is back to college life... back to the old grind. I am sorry that i am taking up space on a forum that is filled by people who are dealing with so much worse crap then I am... but I need to get advice before this becomes a trigger to me. I am back in school... the only thing that keeps me going regularly is the fact that I have found ways to do well the last 2 semesters. Unfortunately, I am not in classes with more difficult professors, more reading, which sucks for me because i seem to have a learning disability where I don't remember what I read as well as most where I am ok with lectures, and don't have the 2nd chances other professors have given (such as report revisions). The lack of a study guide is going to make things dang near impossible for a less then smart person like myself. Like I said the only thing that keeps me going when despite being in college for 3 years I have no career planned, stuck in a job that is beyond dead end, no close friends, no anything to look forward to was my recent success in school. Gave me some confidence that things will get better and I will figure something out... It is week 2 and I already wonder if I can get acceptable grades in any of my classes... which really sucks because it is not a heavy semester (lots of work so I could not sign up for a full load and expect to keep my job). I am already on edge... trying to read, trying to study but I just cant memorize this and I am struggling even with lectures which used to be a strong suit of mine. No study guide so i have no clue what the heck i even need to study... I don't know how to cope... I have said many times I would rather die then fail again, and I may be looking at failure pretty soon. I just don't know what to do... all of my aquaentices know where they are going in life and i am watching people who graduated early be closer to a career path then me despite my 3 year head start. I am watching other succeed when working 2X the hours I am, going on dates and enjoying life while I cant do any of that. I need this... I need some success in my life of irrelevancy... If i fail again I will never be able to pull myself back to this... or anything else.