Financial ruin, bankruptcy imminent. Less frequent work due to inability to communicate. Can't connect with humans at all anymore. Still functional, working hard, complex skills useable, becoming lethargic though, less so professionally. <Mod Edit, Methods> but a spider bit me. It stopped me. Had the note in place, ready to go, but I was scared of the spider bite. Funny. Wife is losing her mind to her own struggles, won't/can't hear mine, too stressful. I understand. Have no other connections. Can't afford therapy. State inpatient is... Hellish, worse than death or a free life of misery. Can't/won't abandon my responsibilities. Can't jump over the wall to find employment in unfamiliar fields, frozen with fear before any interaction that carries weighty consequences, i.e. interview, review, introduction, making eye contact. Still tired. Still so tired.