Accelerating Collapse

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by TimidlyReaching, Jul 29, 2016.

  1. Financial ruin, bankruptcy imminent. Less frequent work due to inability to communicate. Can't connect with humans at all anymore. Still functional, working hard, complex skills useable, becoming lethargic though, less so professionally. <Mod Edit, Methods> but a spider bit me. It stopped me. Had the note in place, ready to go, but I was scared of the spider bite. Funny. Wife is losing her mind to her own struggles, won't/can't hear mine, too stressful. I understand. Have no other connections. Can't afford therapy. State inpatient is... Hellish, worse than death or a free life of misery. Can't/won't abandon my responsibilities. Can't jump over the wall to find employment in unfamiliar fields, frozen with fear before any interaction that carries weighty consequences, i.e. interview, review, introduction, making eye contact. Still tired. Still so tired.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 29, 2016
  2. chiaroscura

    chiaroscura BestTimePlantTree?100 YearsAgo. NextBestTime?Now. SF Supporter

    Hi there, TimidlyReaching. Has anyone talked to you yet? ARe you there?
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 29, 2016
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  3. chiaroscura

    chiaroscura BestTimePlantTree?100 YearsAgo. NextBestTime?Now. SF Supporter

    Yoo hoo! TimidlyReaching? Are you here? I just read your post, and saved by a spider bite! That's incredible. What kind of spider bit you? Does the bite look okay?
     
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  4. moxman

    moxman Well-Known Member

    Hi, Timid

    boy you have a lot on your plate. no wonder you are stressed out. I would or anyone else would be stressed out in your shoes. You sound like a computer the way you type things. What has happened to get you into this mess? A spider bite would have stopped me in tracks too. I get the impression you really really need to let off some steam and let us try to help you. Maybe you could write down everything and get it off your mind and onto a piece of paper, trust me you will feel better. So why are you having such a hard time connecting with other people? Talk to us

    Maybe have your wife join us too so we can help her separately.
     
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  5. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    Here if you feel like talking...
     
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  6. I'm here. Thank you for responding. Reading the trials and victories of others of similar mind has improved my mental state. This is a warm, supportive place. My apologies to the admin for mention of method, it passed into existence without warning, I was entirely unaware. It is my time now to heed the oft given advice, to do something. Just do something. A recent post here, the author I can't recollect, was particularly inspiring, so it is just to start something, right now. I'm off to feed the chickens, and made measurable progress today on a long neglected project. Therapy is the next step, finding a doctor, medication, it is just frightening, financially and personally. Distrust and fear have limited my time spent with medical professionals to just a couple encounters in the last dozen or so years. Rambling again, so to close, thank you, and I believe I will be well.
     
  7. Oh! The spider bite must have been imagined or a graze, it left no real evidence, perhaps a spot. The area keeps a variety of spiders, the worst the brown widow, but had there been any envenomation it should have been apparent in hours.
     
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  8. SinisterKid

    SinisterKid Safety & Support SF Supporter

    The good thing is Timidly, SF is always here and always open to everyone. So if you still feel you want or need some support, here we are and here we stay. Its great to see you a lot more positive, even though you still face many trials, but I am certain that if you can maintain that feeling, you can overcome whatever it is you have to face. Kudos to you for being this strong, I wish you nothing but the best.
     
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  9. AlexiMarie7

    AlexiMarie7 Well-Known Member

    There is one spider that I now like. :) I'm glad it gave you pause, and that you are feeling in a better state mentally, and motivated to get some projects done and take some positive steps.

    I would encourage you to push as much as you can while you have this burst of energy, researching and putting things in place, maybe getting an appointment with a therapist if you can. The days can ebb and flow, so it's always good to do as much as you can in a clearer head space.

    You can also try 'mock' interactions for the scenarios you mentioned, in case they may help, as well as possibly trying some natural calming aids. Nothing beats a trial. :)

    Keep at it.
     
  10. chiaroscura

    chiaroscura BestTimePlantTree?100 YearsAgo. NextBestTime?Now. SF Supporter

    Envenomation--the terms makes me think you are highly educated? True? If so where, and in what field? Most people would never know that word. I am so glad it wasn't an actual spider bite. Brown recluse are the ones that scare me the most. But anyway, I'm so sorry you are going through the valley that every single person here battles with, but here we are. Please stay on our page. At first it seems complicated to learn everything, but no one cares if a mistake is made. Ive only been here a few days, came in here yellling HELP HELP. And I've STILL not figured out how to do all this stuff, and I've accidentally broken at least one rule, but they are so nice about it. So you and I are in the same boat, in terms of being new! Please don't leave. I would love to hear about your farm or farmette. If you have time. And which animals you have. I want to set up a farmette with chickens, goats, peacocks, and one pony. So I really would love to hear what you have there. But only if you have time. Cheers and stay strong--easy to say, isn't it? We're all in this together, at this forum!
     
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  11. chiaroscura

    chiaroscura BestTimePlantTree?100 YearsAgo. NextBestTime?Now. SF Supporter

    I like that spider that is black with white dots all over it, and it looks exactly like it has a little face. I think it's called a hopping spider or something like that. I had one on my fence for a whole summer and I would visit him every day. Oh, he was so beautiful. Don't know why he's never come back.....I also have a garden snake that scared me to pieces when I first saw it, because it looks kind of like a copperhead. I googled pictures and finally decided that it didnt have a triangular head, so I liked it then and named it Mrs. Geraldine Holliday. She has been on my land for about 3 or 4 years now, and every spring I find her. It's still creepy to see a snake, but I try to be brave and like her, as she keeps voles out of my garden. :) Timidly, I am so so so happy that you answered and feel a little better!
     
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  12. I am stuck, but would like to reply to each comment shortly. This sticking point may read like Kerouac, so my apologies. It shames me to write I and me, as these feel too often my sole consideration. They are not, but the time spent there feels overwhelming, eternal. Because I have not learned how to ask others of themselves, I discuss with them these thoughts, these introspection, sharing a bit more deeply as the conversation progresses in my attempt to draw from them their experiences, their internal dialog. I fear this clumsy play at socialization portrays me egocentric, while in truth I wish to learn their story. Of course I do wish to share my world, my perception of this reality, but instead, first, in an attempt to connect, may I ask; would anyone like to tell me about themselves?
     
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  13. chiaroscura

    chiaroscura BestTimePlantTree?100 YearsAgo. NextBestTime?Now. SF Supporter

    That was, in my opinion at least, a beautiful post. There is a feature somewhere on this forum (I am about 90% lost about how to do anything on here, as I'm so new) but the feature is called "My Story," and people write their stories, and I don't know where that is, or where it appears. I'm like a blind person feeling my way around and mostly lost, but I know it exists. There you can read, I would imagine, though I've never found it (hahaha) the stories of other people's life travels leading them to find this forum. If you figure it out, please tell me. Although I don't know how to tell you to tell me, either, as I don't know how to even find a message on my profile. If you ever feel like that on here, don't think you're alone on THAT point. :)
     
  14. moxman

    moxman Well-Known Member

    My story is like five or six links below yours , I just want to die (sounds exciting does it not) , to get to they My Story Forum, is easy. We actually have a lot of other forums out there. At the very top of the page you will see a purple tab labeled Forums, click on that and that will take you to a listing of all the different forums.