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Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by ksmith86, Oct 13, 2012.

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  1. ksmith86

    ksmith86 Well-Known Member

    I just need a peaceful way out. I want to take my last breath on a mountainside somewhere, propped against a tree watching the sunset. Waiting for the life to drain out of me while I drift away into a a blissful sleep. Or some other romantic shit like that.

    It's not so much driven by fear or sadness... Although I am always hurting. I just feel ready. I think I've kind of accepted it. I just wish I had a dignified way to do it. I'm sure you guys can all relate.

    You've all been wonderful by the way.
  2. Spirare

    Spirare New Member

    With the right kind of support, life can feel that beautiful on a daily basis. Everyone's needs are different. What do you need?
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Enjoy the sunset the mountains and LIVE hun enjoy hiking seeing nature wild life camping spend you time living hugs
  4. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    I can totally relate to that...but I think sometimes there are moments in my life where I am happy and enjoying every minute of what is happening regardless...so I think living is worth more than dying...what if you miss something wonderful because you died too early?
  5. Wispiwill

    Wispiwill Well-Known Member

    I think, sometimes, you can feel like you've had enough and that it's time to move on or just stop. The problem is, while YOU feel like that, the body seems to want to keep going on and on and on...I know that feeling. I'm afraid I haven't found such a way out either. I wish you luck, whatever happens.
  6. Black Sun

    Black Sun Active Member


    Exactly are you trying to say with this post? Are you homicidal or suicidal? Get help!

  7. Wispiwill

    Wispiwill Well-Known Member

    My apologies if I was unclear. I was trying to say that there's nothing wrong with the poster. The body wants to survive no matter the wish of the person inhabiting that particular body. I understand that feeling - I, too, am trapped within this shell of an existence. I thought that it might be helpful if they felt that others have felt that particular feeling (assuming I'm correct of course). I have no answers to their dilemma but wish them luck - just a general wish of good luck to someone in pain, nothing more. I'm sorry if it seemed that my post suggested otherwise.
  8. ksmith86

    ksmith86 Well-Known Member

    It actually helps knowing that someone out there shares my exact feelings Gil. Wisp and I have talked before, he knows my situation. I see him as a friend on this board.

    Wisp you seem right about that! I've played it over a hundred times in my head and I can always see myself freaking out and stopping it. We have an instinctive drive to carry on no matter what the situation is. If there WERE an easy, painfree, peaceful way out I'd imagine a lot more people would actually do it.

    So maybe it's good that it isn't so easy :)

    Who knows maybe someday I'll look back on this period of my life and be thankful that I never went through with it. I just don't want to get my hopes up.

    Spirare, what I need is a new identity, a high powered lawyer or a miracle ;)

    Total eclipse: If I get out of this the first thing I'm doing is going on a LONG walk. I'd like to try and hike the Appalachian trail by myself, that'd be so wonderful.

    Morning rush: The problem is that my life is very likely over anyways. There's a lot of wonderful things I'm going to miss out on even if I don't end it. A lot of my grief comes from the fact that I'll never get to experience those things. I'll never be married, or have kids and family of my own. I'll never know what it's like to have a successful career. I'll never get to finish college. It's very likely all gone for me anyways :(

    Thanks for the support guys!
  9. ksmith86

    ksmith86 Well-Known Member

    Seemed to have leveled off again. Feeling fine at the moment. Thanks for the quick responses guys, t's been such a roller coaster for me these past couple of months
  10. Wispiwill

    Wispiwill Well-Known Member

    I'm glad you're feeling better. I think it's understandable that you've been having a tough time. I hope things going better for you. Good luck.
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