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accepting help and being honest can be hard

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by morning rush, Mar 8, 2013.

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  1. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    Due to recent events, I found myself at the mercy of everyone monetarily. My account was ceased and so it was hell to get my money...it is still ongoing battle...

    anyways I came here to talk about it...and then suddenly I felt bad...like I was asking for attention and that was bad...also I felt I was being too honest and thought, people will probably think I'm trying to scam them. Why I think like that is beyond me...why do we think like that?

    I remember there was a member on here that was asking for donations and it turned out he was defrauding? (not sure it's the word) everyone...and so when I had no money and telling people here, I felt as though people would think I'm like him, which I am not. Thank god, life made it that I didn't have to accept anything from anyone but I was humbled to see how people are so giving and non judging...compared to me...I don't judge others but why am I so hard on myself?

    to be honest, it felt so bad to accept money from my grandma...she's in such a pitiful state and she's saving for her funerals...here I am asking for money...

    are there anyone else having a hard time asking for help and being hard on themselves?

    I'm trying to change those thoughts, but man it's so hard...why do I feel bad about being alive and receiving help, love and care?
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    i tend to do the same hun inever reach out for help for fear of judgement I am glad you came here hun and posted and released some of the stress you are under. It helps to know h un you are not alone and people do care hun hugs
  3. Theodora

    Theodora Well-Known Member

    I'm similar. Asking for help is almost impossible. I expect to be seen as a nuisance. People have seen me as very independent, that's because I'm desperate to avoid rejection. If I don't ask or seem to need I can't be turned down.
  4. emily83

    emily83 Well-Known Member

    this is why i don't use these types of sites too often.

    i find myself posting something about my feelings, then instantly thinking.. uggg.. i wish i could delete that!

  5. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    I disagree with the premise of asking for help presented...it is a very brave thing...the person you are asking has free will and can say "no" if that is appropriate...one of the reasons why asking is so difficult is that it places the person in a very vulnerable condition, and may be rejected...whatever one posts, or asks is valid...for most people, it is not attention seeking, although seeking the attention of people who care is so sorely misunderstood...again, there is nothing wrong with that as long as it is done in an explicit manner...for me, I have problems when someone 'steals attention' by his/her malingering (e.g. pretending to be in a critical situation and having many people concerned). As I said in my PM to you, helping, in and of itself, is the reward...and you deserved to be helped
  6. CGMAngel

    CGMAngel SF Supporter

    Nice point, Sad - helping others can be very rewarding (unless it is always one-way), so morning rush, you should never feel bad about asking for assistance because there are a lot of good, kind people (especially on here) who want to help.

    Theodora, like you I have a fear of rejection that prevents me from seeking help. How many of us have started threads on here and then felt rejected when no one responded immediately?

    My problem is that I am convinced my only role (penance?) on Planet Earth is to save the world, and so I feel guilty when I ask for help instead. At those times I feel like a therapist asking my clients for help. It just feels wrong.
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