Due to recent events, I found myself at the mercy of everyone monetarily. My account was ceased and so it was hell to get my money...it is still ongoing battle... anyways I came here to talk about it...and then suddenly I felt bad...like I was asking for attention and that was bad...also I felt I was being too honest and thought, people will probably think I'm trying to scam them. Why I think like that is beyond me...why do we think like that? I remember there was a member on here that was asking for donations and it turned out he was defrauding? (not sure it's the word) everyone...and so when I had no money and telling people here, I felt as though people would think I'm like him, which I am not. Thank god, life made it that I didn't have to accept anything from anyone but I was humbled to see how people are so giving and non judging...compared to me...I don't judge others but why am I so hard on myself? to be honest, it felt so bad to accept money from my grandma...she's in such a pitiful state and she's saving for her funerals...here I am asking for money... are there anyone else having a hard time asking for help and being hard on themselves? I'm trying to change those thoughts, but man it's so hard...why do I feel bad about being alive and receiving help, love and care?