Accident . . .

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Alyssa88, Apr 8, 2007.

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  1. Alyssa88

    Alyssa88 Active Member

    I just am so tired of putting up this front, so tired of being perfect. . . when really I am a loser who just wants to give up. Everyone sees me for something I am not, I need a way to make it look like an accident.
  2. gitana

    gitana SF Friend & Antiquitie's Friend Staff Alumni

    Alyssa88, Hi! I know what you mean.. all my life have had to put up a front and be perfect.. the way I was raised.. mostly because my mom's side of the family.. I understand what you are saying and nobody is perfect.. Behind close doors.. nobody knows.. my friends thought my family was perfect.. really.. for a long time.. and wanted to be a part of my family.. but later found out the truth.. not as perfect as it seemed.. they put me on a pedestal too.. people have.. I have to tell people in the past.. I am not perfect.. don't look up to me like that.. I have alot of pain, alot I have been through..

    You are NOT a loser hon.. there are NO losers here.. I know how it feels to want to really give up on life and everything.. You find us here, not by accident, because people here really care and are sincere.. we understand completely.. please give us a chance to be there for you. Okay?? You can be yourself here and without judgement.. I wouldn't be here today if I hadn't found SF by "accident" at all.. Done.. no more.. can't go on.. yet the people here kept reaching out to me.. not to say that it has been easy and yes, there are those days that I want to give up completely and let go and do it.. then I come here.. first now.. I use to react and not say anything to anybody and now I am here..

    So, you are a research intern?? May I ask, if you don't mind, what kind of research you are doing? I love research... I have background in this area..

    Just know that we are here for you and care about you.. keep talking to us.. anytime, or feel free to PM me anytime hon.. if you need someone to talk to .. I know how difficult it is.. feeling this way.. I am glad that you are reaching out to us here and sharing..

    Please don't do anything right now.. I hope you give us a chance first, okay..?? just because one attempts, speaking from my experience, it may not work and be matter what one tries.. thought several things would work right away and you know.. one never knows.. at all.. it one will succeed.. I have been lucky and I know people who are still here and attempted seriously, and are having problems.. I have also lost many people in my life, close to me.. 9 were suicide.. 2 were my best friends.. different times.. so I am here also because I have felt suicidal many years and have been through alot.. alot of people here have too and that is why we are here to help anyone who wants a friend, someone to talk to, or talk through their pain, we understand..

    but it doesn't mean that one will always succeed either, as the people I also know have ended up paralyzed, vegetable, etc. so give us a chance first.. okay?


  3. Alyssa88

    Alyssa88 Active Member

    I research at a developmental psychology lab, the studies I am more into are
    more cognitive developmental. My major is psychology and my minor is cognitive neuroscience, but I also have an interest in developmental psychology so this seems to be my place.

    It is under two professors. One is more into language development and the other is more into memory and spatial intelligence research. They have a bunch of studies going on between the two of them.
  4. run4fun

    run4fun Well-Known Member

    i thought about making it look like an accident too. the only way, i can come up with is driving my car into the water. i have a 32 acp. that would be easy.
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