Accidental Burn Issues

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by ~Nobody~, Apr 13, 2007.

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  1. ~Nobody~

    ~Nobody~ Well-Known Member

    While I was away I was ironing a pair of trousers on the little fold down ironing board in the hotel room. I put the iron down on its end to the side of me and I accidentally burnt the outside of my right arm on the edge of it.

    Now, I know it was an accident. My boyfirend knows it was an accident. The people who don't know I SI will certainly assume it's an accident. But I'm going back "home" tonight and my mum is bound to assume that I did it intentionally. She's going to get completely drunk and tonight is going to be a disaster. I can tell. All 'cause I'm a clumsy idiot.

    The other issue is that I now really really want to burn myself. I haven't really contemplated burning for several weeks now (I did it all the time for a while), only cutting, but now I want to burn again.

    I really, really want to.

    And I have the means.

    Any help or advice would be much appreciated...

    :arms: x
     
  2. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    Ok, sometimes the best form of defense is attack, so maybe when you get hmoe, show your mum the burn, explain how it happened, maybe do the whole 'I know you will think it was deliberate, but I know it was an accident and so does everyone else, so please trust me', and hopefully she might realise that it was an accident. Often totally confronting the issue can sort it out before a problem arises.

    With regards to burning, what will it achieve? Nothing really, well, nothing productive.

    If you want to fight the urge then try and figure out what it is that you get from burning, and then try to find a more positive way to get that. Like it is pain, hold ice onto the area you want to burn. If its the mark, draw what you picture it to look like, on your skin (with non toxic pen/s). Something like that.

    Good luck with your mum, and keep fighting your urge.

    Take care
     
  3. Blackness

    Blackness Guest

    Try and do your best to cover the burn up..long sleeved top or even make up if you have to.
     
  4. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    Don't put any make up on until it is healed otherwise it will cause infection.
     
  5. ~Nobody~

    ~Nobody~ Well-Known Member

    This makes perfect sense. But unfortunately, knowing my mum as I do, I'm sure it would still end badly. She is a hypocrite and she looks for fights. So if I go in and say 'I know you will think it was deliberate, but I know it was an accident and so does everyone else, so please trust me' then she will start off on all the "how dare you? i wouldn't even have brought it up. it wouldn't have occurred to me - now it has. you're so selfish, so attention-seeking..." and so on, and so it'll all blow up that way.

    I'm stuck.

    Intense pain, and visible damage. Less mess than cutting. Relief, calmness, a sense of control.

    All that works is SI in one form or another. So, I could get drunk, or I could go out and buy a packet of cigarettes, or I could cut, or I could bang my head against a wall....

    I'm not being deliberately awkward. I'm just being honest.

    Thanks for the support and advice :hug:

    x x x
     
  6. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    Honest is good.

    Obviously you know your mother better than I, lol, so maybe, like blackness suggested, it will have to be a hide it/coverup job. But please don't put makeup on it, until it is healed.

    Your past experience maybe that only SI works to replace another SI, but it could change. If you can find decent strategies to help you, or deal with the pain that makes you SI, then you don't forever have to replace one thing with another. Have you tried less harmful, more positive methods? Like ice? Or elastic bands?
     
  7. ~Nobody~

    ~Nobody~ Well-Known Member

    Yeah, I guess I'll just have to stick with long sleeves (despite the heat) and hope I don't slip up and it doesn't take too long to heal!

    [quote =Scum]Have you tried less harmful, more positive methods? Like ice? Or elastic bands?[/quote]

    Pinging an elastic band on my wrist is really useful if I'm in public to stop me just screaming or punching something or bursting into tears, but as an actual METHOD it doesn't work for me. It doesn't hurt for nearly long enough.

    Squeezing ice cubes is good. But it's not as 'handy' seeing as I can't keep ice cubes in my bedroom, and I can't exactly do it in company.

    I guess I very much like to see that I've damaged my flesh. At the same time I hate my scars. But then that's me, walking contradiction...
     
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