Accountability/Goal Setting Group

What do you think?

  • This is a great idea!

    Votes: 31 73.8%
  • This is the worst idea I've every heard of. Ever.

    Votes: 2 4.8%
  • I like cake.

    Votes: 12 28.6%
  • The cake is a lie.

    Votes: 6 14.3%

  • Total voters
    42
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Megan.

SF Supporter
#21
The idea seems to be picking up steam. That's great!

If you want to participate and haven't said anything yet, it's not too late. Post below or send me a PM.

Right now I count 14 people that have expressed interest in one form or another. Perhaps I am being too aggressive, but I'm thinking maybe 2 chat groups and 1 forum group can come out of this. I'm probably going to wait another day and then send everyone some questions about availability and preferences. Of course, if others stumble upon this later we can always expand groups or start new ones.

A few people were commenting on the tone of the group. I have three thoughts on that. First, we're still going to be using SF, so the rules here will have to be respected. Second, the goal is neither to comfort people when they fail to accomplish a goal nor to berate them. I think the goal is to push and encourage others (and ourselves) to accomplish goals, and to realistically appraise what we can do differently if we happen to fail in one. Third, it may be possible to sort groups in part based on how 'strict' the members want to be (but I'm guessing scheduling and format will be more important).

I've also been doing a little bit of searching on the interweb to see what folks have to say about this kind of thing. I liked these simple suggested guidelines:
1. Meet on a regular basis.
2. Set guidelines that work for your group.
3. Respect each member's privacy, do not share with others outside the group.
4. Change the group leader or facilitator at each meeting.
5. Share weekly personal goals before you leave the meeting.
6. Start and end on time.
7. Use a timer to give each member equal time.
8. Don't interrupt. Hold all comments until every member has a chance to speak.
9. No chitchat. This is a powerful place to make real commitments, don't abuse the time.
I'm just throwing those out there to think about at the moment. I'm not carving them in stone tablets or anything, but I thought they were pretty good.
 

Megan.

SF Supporter
#24
I sent people that replied to this thread a message asking you to PM me with answers to a few questions:

1. Would you prefer to be part of a chat group (meets once/week for one hour) or a forum group (no specific meetings)?

2. If you would prefer to be part of a chat group, what times are you available? Please provide as wide a range as possible, and also please comment on each these suggested approximate times: Sunday at 6 PM CST (GMT -6, so around midnight in the UK and morning in Aus/NZ); Tuesday 6 PM CST; and Thursday 6 PM CST.

If you replied here but didn't get it, that was not on purpose. I either misspelled your name, missed you by accident, or you don't accept PMs. So please PM me the answer to these questions in any case and I can try to get this going.

By the way, others are still welcome to join at any time. Just post here or send me a PM.

Thanks!
 

Viro

Well-Known Member
#25
Those seem like some good guidelines, but I'm not sure about #4. Maybe rotate amongst people who are comfortable in that role.

I just hate being group leader.
 

Megan.

SF Supporter
#29
Thanks everyone that has responded and answered the questions above. I've place people into groups based on your preferences and times I think will work. If you have any problems with where you are, just PM me. There were a few people I didn't get answers from on the group/time questions, so I've placed you in forum groups for now. PM me if you want to be in a chat group.

If you have not joined yet but still want to participate, it's not too late to post below or send me a PM.

Suggestions/rules for each type of group will follow shortly, and I will PM each person as well with this information.

Without further ado:

Group 1 (forum group):
Forgotten_Man
LostsJavaTest
Adam Kadmon
savetonight
Bambi
Aurora Gory Alice
mandyj101

Group 2 (forum group):
Raynah
dawn
brokeandlonely
kyle88
Dave_N
vicpac

Group 3 (chat group meets Sundays 6:30 PM CST [GMT-6]):
Tim-MN
*music*
Kali
Prinnctopher's Belt
*dilligaf*

Group 4 (chat group meets Tuesdays 8 PM CST [GMT-6]):
ride26
sinnssykdom
rearviewmirror
mysheep
Mikeintx

My first suggestion is that each group comes up with a name for their group because going by number is not cool.
 

kyle88

Well-Known Member
#31
Nice work Tim...

Just wondering which forum we will use to write our goals etc...

Also I will be away for about a week or so starting tomorrow, just a heads up, so u guys don't kick me outta the group.
 

Megan.

SF Supporter
#32
FORUM GROUP GUIDELINES

A forum is open by its nature. You should assume any information you post can and will be read by users outside your group. You are likely to have vistors pop in and comment on your goals and probably post a few of their own. There will be less pressure for individual members to post regularly. The challenge will probably be to keep members committed and active in a loosely regulated format.

I suggest the following rules:

1. Every group member is required to post at least once/week. Weeks will begin/end on Mondays at noon (GMT).
2. Each member's weekly post should contain at least the following:
-goals from the previous week and whether they were achieved
-other accomplishments from the previous week
-goals for the coming week
3. In addition, each group will rotate (alphabetically by user name) a selected member for the week. The selected member will also post additional details on their long-term goals, struggles so far, achievements so far, etc.
4. Every member of the group will post a reply comment for at least the weekly selected member's post.
5. Comments should not be restricted to only praise for success, but should offer advice where a member might be struggling or where appropriate. If you see a person is meeting all of their goals for example, you may want to encourage them to set more ambitious goals in the future. If they are not meeting their goals, you may want to ask if they are realistic or should be changed, or offer advice on a different way to accomplish them.
6. Members are also encouraged to comment on other group members' weekly goals, particularly if they believe they have an idea that may help someone in a unique way, but also simply to encourage that member or provide constructive feedback. Members are encouraged to comment on other forum groups' threads as well.
7. The selected member for the week is responsible for checking that each other member of the sub-group has posted that week, and is responsible for sending a PM to anyone that has not done so.
8. One member of the group should volunteer to be the group monitor. This person can keep track of long-term participation by having the selected weekly member PM that information to him or her. The monitor can also take the lead when dealing with any unforeseen issues that arise in the group.
9. All Suicide Forum site rules must be respected on the forum at all times
10. There is a difference between honest advice and Insults. Insulting or demeaning posts are not allowed.

Those are my suggested guidelines to start, but I am also guessing that each group will have their own ideas. So start with these, but change them as you feel is necessary and if you have a great idea, share it with other groups.
 

Megan.

SF Supporter
#33
CHAT GROUP GUIDELINES

Chat groups are more private, and information shared is considered to be private unless the appropriate member makes the information public in the forum. That being said, members should keep in mind safe internet conduct and what they are comfortable sharing in chat meetings as well as in the forum. It's important in chat groups that everyone shows up each week on-time and is focused during the meeting, as time is limited and valuable.

Here are my suggested rules:
1. The group will meet once each week on a regular day and at a regular time.
2. Everyone is expected to be in chat on-time for each meeting.
3. Meetings are to last one hour.
4. Every person must at least mention:
-whether or not they met their goal(s) from the previous week
-their goal(s) for the coming week
5. Each member will be given approximately equal time, to be moderated by that meeting's group facilitator.
6. In general, the format for each meeting will be (amount of time for each member can be adjusted for the number of people):
-introduction, who is leading, make sure everyone is present, any news(2 minutes or less)
-first member speaks about previous weeks goals and whether they were completed (3 minutes)
-reactions/comments/advice (3 minutes)
-first member describes next weeks goals (2 minutes)
-comments/additions/advice(3 minutes)
-next member speaks (11 minutes)
-third member speaks (11 minutes)
-fourth member speaks (11 minutes)
-fifth member speaks (11 minutes)
-closing, reminder to post goals in forum, reminder that everything is confidential, reminder to meet same time next week, reminder of who is next weeks facilitator (2 minutes)
7. Each meeting will be 1 hour long, the time will be managed closely
8. The weekly facilitator will rotate in alphabetical order after the first meeting. The group facilitator is responsible for PM'ing each group member 24 hours before the meeting as a reminder, for choosing the order that each member is to speak in (alphabetical starting with the facilitator is suggested normally), for moderating the discussion, and for making sure each member posts their goals online after the meeting
9. Anything mentioned in the group is private, the only exception is what members choose to post about themselves in the forum.
10. Members will post goals they are comfortable discussing publically on the forum in the dedicated thread within 1 hour of each meeting
11. No insults or negative treatment of other members will be tolerated in the chat or in the forum
12. members should be encouraged by the weekly facilitator to participate in providing feedback if they are not doing so
13. the weekly facilitator will be responsible for determining if any guests can join the group that week. In general, the decision should be made based on the total number of people expected to attend, whether the person is expected to participate in this group or another group in the future, and whether the weekly facilitator is aware of any other potential issues the guest might bring to the group. If the facilitator decides to allow the guest, then the facilitator is responsible for making sure the guest understands the group's rules
14. members should post in the dedicated forum thread and pm the weekly leader if they will not be able to attend in a given week.
15. the chat meeting should preferably take place in a mod-created chat room with a password known only to the group members.
16. the group facilitator should post additional information on their long-term goals, accomplishments, issues, etc. in the forum at least 24 hours before the meeting they will be leading. Each member of the group should read that post before the meeting.
 

Bambi

Well-Known Member
#34
Gosh I hate to be the first to complain and whine but I don't feel that other members not apart of the group should be allowed to post in our thread...I mean are they just gonna sit one the side lines and offer what? ..we are a group of individuals committed to helping each other and would like to keep it that way I would think. As a group we have more "inside information" regarding where are group members are at in the goal process so someone that does not know the whole story could jump in and out as they feel fit or just on whim..I see great potential for abuse of this. Alison sometimes ask people not to post in other members thread maybe we could get her to ask outsiders to not post in our thread. Just seems to go against the intention of the group-a group that is understanding of each of the other members personal struggles/goals..of course we can't stop them from reading but to allow them to post seems inappropriate to me.
Bambi
 

Megan.

SF Supporter
#35
Okay, I sent out PMs to folks. So hopefully this will get rolling...

But I almost certainly made some mistakes. I got something mixed up and put someone in a group with a time they can't make, or a format they didn't want, or they weren't really interested, etc. So let me know if that is you and you want a change and I'll try and make this right.

Also, once again, if you want to join it's not too late! We can add you to a group or add groups when there is enough interest. So PM me or post below to get in on the fun!

Just wondering which forum we will use to write our goals etc...
I'm thinking the main Suicide Forum, as it's members only. I don't think it's a huge issue, but I would prefer a members only forum for sure.

Wow you have done a lot of work! I appreciate it as do I am sure the others.
Thanks, glad to do it and happy to have others interested!

(edited) I don't feel that other members not apart of the group should be allowed to post in our thread.
I agree pretty much completely with your sentiment, but I don't know how we can prevent people from posting. I'm fine with asking them not to, but I figure it will happen from time to time. So I'm inclined to just roll with it. Someone will see it at the top of the 'new posts' page, click, be intrigued, and decide to put their own goals down or comment on someone's post.

Possible answers?
-asking those not in the group to not post in the first post in the thread, and instead instructing them to PM me if they are interested in being part of a group
-asking mods to delete posts by those not in the group after the fact
-having the selected weekly member or a particular person in charge of replying kindly to these other posts with an invitation to join this or another group (where and when space is available) by contacting me.
-any other ideas?

I also don't want people to feel excluded, so it's important to me that if we're going to ask them not to post we let them know they can join a group if they'd like. I'd feel like a jerk if someone just signed up for this place, was deeply depressed, saw one of these threads, posted, and then was promptly lectured by several people explaining that they don't belong there.

With the multiple forum groups themselves, I kind of envisioned them as a single big group with several sub-groups. So that's why I think members should try and stay active with the other forum groups. Too many people to keep up with probably, but it's probably nice to be able to see you are part of a bigger group from time to time, can keep people caught up with any good ideas for running the group, and may facilitate re-arranging things if people leave and we need to add members to a group or something. The focus should be on your own group though.

Anyways, those are my thoughts, not scripture. Lets figure out what works best and do that.
 

Prinnctopher's Belt

Antiquities Friend
SF Supporter
#36
What about using the Buddy Chat subforum? It's members-only and particularly made for groups of buddies to participate in peer-to-peer support, groups like this. I feel like it's less out-of-place than using the main Suicide forum where people come when they feel at their lowest and discuss their feelings of being suicidal.
 
#37
Really appreciate all the work you've put into this idea Tim, looking forward to finally getting some stuff done.

What about using the Buddy Chat subforum? It's members-only and particularly made for groups of buddies to participate in peer-to-peer support, groups like this. I feel like it's less out-of-place than using the main Suicide forum where people come when they feel at their lowest and discuss their feelings of being suicidal.
That.
 

Megan.

SF Supporter
#38
Using the 'social groups' bit on here has also been suggested to me as a way to make it more private. I'm not familiar with exactly how those work on here. Anyone know if/how that would go for this situation?

What about using the Buddy Chat subforum? It's members-only and particularly made for groups of buddies to participate in peer-to-peer support, groups like this. I feel like it's less out-of-place than using the main Suicide forum where people come when they feel at their lowest and discuss their feelings of being suicidal.
That sounds fine with me.
 

Megan.

SF Supporter
#40
Tim, for social groups, go to the Community tab in the navigation panel, down to Social Groups, then scroll down and click on Create a group.
Cool. Looks like you can have threads in these and all without a problem. I think this is the way to do it.

I'd prefer if someone from each group took the initiative to start their own group and manage it, but if nobody does by next Tuesday I will go ahead and create them myself.

I'll create group 3 in a bit.
 
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