Aching inside

#7
Thank you guys and sending hugs back your way. This forum helped me so much earlier this year. The depression was beyond words. I got a lot of help and had at least been doing better, but these past few days have been beyond painful again. I’m just feeling so impossibly lonely. I’ve been living with a chronic illness for some time that made mobility such a challenge that I was tremendously isolated for literally years on end, basically housebound. I know some of you might understand that, knowing what some of you have been through with depression, anxiety, ptsd, not having supportive people in your life...I know those all can land you in that same painful isolated place (hugs). And when I did have people to open up to...sometimes that ended badly. They moved on, or there were factors that made it complicated and painful to be close. I tried to keep faith that somewhere inside, I was someone still capable of loving and being loved, but I just don’t feel that way anymore, not right now at least.
There’s someone in my life who inadvertently stirred up all those doubts, pain, and longings again, and it’s literally so painful that I don’t know how to cope. I’m trying to ride out the feelings but there’s moments where it feels unbearable. I just really needed to write all this out, so thank you all for just hearing me and listening to what I’ve been feeling. It helps.
 

Walker

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#9
Hello there, just thought I would see how you are faring. You last said you weren't doing too hot. That was about 2 weeks ago so checking in on you.
 

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