I never thought I would ever get this far and depressed before this year. Acne just tends to fuck things up. I think I've had this like nasty red rash with sporatic zits in them on and off and the worst break out of course has to start with my senior year. This would probably be the 2nd or 3rd year with my acne (yey!) and I can't remember the last time when I saw my chin area with white skin.....normal skin that is. Seems like everyone in school is flawles, and if they arn't, they have very mild acne. Every day I come home and look in the mirror disguisted and every day I hate myself more and more. To the extent where I don't even give a shit about what others think of me. Hell, I don't even go anywhere now or talk to girls...for obvious reasons. I always pictured myself dying in a car crash...and well I hope for that soon. with a bleak future ahead of me, I can only wish for more bad predicaments to head my way for me to finally give into what my heart is telling me to do. I realize that there are thousands of other people if not millions that are in WAY worst situations than I am in, but I am weak minded and can't take this any longer. I may never collect myself to commit such a drastic measure, but I fear every day the thought stays with me longer and longer..sorta like acne. Of course, no one around me even knows the true inside of me. Senior year has got to be the worst year by far, hopefully its my last.