add another item to the list. may trigger

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by lulu rose, Nov 20, 2007.

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  1. lulu rose

    lulu rose Guest

    well. I never thought I'd do it.....

    after that breakdown, my heads been bad.......Rose keeps winning over me. I let her take control. I hit myself hard

    today I wanted to smash bottles into my head, so I though.......maybe, if I drew blood, actual blood, then I'd feel ok for a little while, at least until I see the doctors..

    I cut open a disposable razor.....and started to slice my arm. Not really deep, enough to bleed. It made me feel sick because I'm not good with blood. But I kept doing it.

    I tried to write "whore" on my arm, but only got to "wh"

    Its bandaged now........dont know how I'll explain this one to my dad........I dont think I'll tell him...

    well yeah, another issue now on my list....I dont know if I'll do it again...I probablly will.

    I've stopped crying.....the cutting stopped the crying.....thats a good thing right?. nothing else stops the crying.
     
  2. jonstark

    jonstark Well-Known Member

    Hold on, lulu rose!
     
  3. jane doe

    jane doe Well-Known Member

    well, after all, i must say, that doing it, does stop the crying at the beggining, you will probably with time, start crying because of cutting, because you can`t leave it, and a lot of stuff that you can read on the sticky post called "before you self harm read this". i don`t know if it`s a good idea to tell your father. mine doesn`t know, and that`s why i can`t ask for medical help. `cause i`m under 21 years old and if the doctor knows, my father/mother should too. but that`s another story. what you really should do it`s to look for something less adictive than self harm, to stop crying. something to replace that behavior, and he sooner you do it , the better. i`m serious about this, i can tell you how bad it can be after 5 years of doing it, of wearing long sleeves in every summer, of don`t go to beach with the family/friends, of losing the people you think that are your friends, and locking yourself in the room, just with your pc. if you want some advice, here it is: try to find something else to stop crying, and if you want to talk, remember you can always come here for help

    take care and be safe.
     
  4. Metallica*Melinda

    Metallica*Melinda Well-Known Member

    I know it may feel like the cutting helps but in the long run it really makes things worse. Please be careful...
     
  5. baofu

    baofu Active Member

    You can hide tears, you can hide pain, you can hide your inner pain, however some physical scars are not easy to hide. If you don't want to, or feel ready to share your pain with others you might want to keep it inside... forgive me if this is an unnapropiate post .
     
  6. riz

    riz Senior Member

    I'm glad that you are feeling better now, and that you've regained control, but I have to say that cutting shouldn't be your only choice. There are so many other things that can help stop the crying. You have options, and sometimes just knowing that can make cutting sound unappealing.

    You sound like a really strong person, and I know that next time, when cutting seems like the only choice, you'll know differently and you'll make the right decision.

    Stay safe and please take care of yourself.

    With love,
    RiZ
     
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