Addicted on being Depressed?

[Old_Man_Kensey]

Has anyone felt any solace in being sad? I mean, it always hurts when you' re feeling depressed, but sometimes i feel like i have to be sad. I' ve been a hell of a pessimist for as long as i can remember myself and certainly throughout teenage years, and i' ve been having suicidal thoughts at the very same time. Now my life ain' t that bad really, apart from the fact that i can' t approach girls and i get stressed over foolish matters. But things are going ok really...I should be able to deal with it. Yet, seems like being depressed is like a second nature to me, it's something i know exactly what it is and something that i feel part of me, so that i feel i' m betraying myself when i' m not sad.

Plus, although still having suicidal thoughts, they re no longer because i' m unhappy or experiencing so much pain. Suicidal thoughts usually come when i m bored or demotivated or feeling that i can t become who i wanted to be.

Anyhow, i' m probably a spoiled kid who can keep it together and enjoy the good things of life. I haven' t posted here for over 2 yrs, mostly because i was doing relatively well. I'd like to know however if there' s anyone else who feels the same way, meaning having an addiction on depression.

 

[Starkissed]

I don't know if I'm addicted to being depressed because I want it to go away but I do know what you mean. Like you're programmed to feel depressed? I'm suicidal every day of my life. My life is probably better than others on this forum but I feel like I'm stuck. So much is happening to me at once and I can't handle it.

I do know what you mean about wanting to commit suicide out of boredom. You're not alone here. I wish you well.

 

[jameslyons]

I think depression is a strong emotion and it feels good to acknowledge it. But I was simply amazed at how quickly cognitive behavior therapy worked to make me feel better. There's something nice about wallowing in depression -- it feels whole and real, but ...happiness also feels real.

I think every depressed person should try out cognitive therapy at least once. It really helps me.

 

[Advent]

This is taken from wiki, and I think is true.


American archetypal psychologist James Hillman writes that depression can be healthy for the soul, insofar as "it brings refuge, limitation, focus, gravity, weight, and humble powerlessness." Hillman argues that therapeutic attempts to eliminate depression echo the Christian theme of resurrection, but have the unfortunate effect of demonizing a soulful state of being.

 

[plates]

no. when i'm depressed i'm extremely ill and my life is in danger.

 

[fromthatshow]

I am definitely addicted to depression and suicidal thinking. The reason being it has become my identity. I have been this depression for so long, that if I experience happiness, or see the way towards it, I get scared because I feel like I am losing myself. Therin lies my addiction.

 

[Aurora Gory Alice]

I am definitely addicted to depression and suicidal thinking. The reason being it has become my identity. I have been this depression for so long, that if I experience happiness, or see the way towards it, I get scared because I feel like I am losing myself. Therin lies my addiction.

God. I can completely relate to that.
I've been depressed for so long sometimes I'm not sure what else there is to me or who else I am, because I was always 'the depressed girl'. All through school, college, everything. It's like that is who I am, if I'm not depressed what else is there?

Sometimes I wonder if I am keeping myself depressed because I wouldn't know how to be happy and that makes me sick to my stomach.

 

[AlexDanish]

I feel like when I'm not depressed, that I'm not nearly as intelligent as I am when I AM depressed. I really don't know why.

 

[Zurkhardo]

I too can relate with this feeling, as can a number of others I know that suffer from depression. I guess there is something about depression that's familiar, relatable. We're used to being sad so it's more comfortble and stable to stay that way....I suppose.

Depression certainly does make one more self-reflective and more thoughtful, which in itself is comforting and illuminating.

 

[plates]

depression for me is pure crippling agony where i want to kill myself to get out of the pain, it isn't isolated to depression but to real life situations in the now/people/grotesque injuries and my past. it isn't anything intellectual or safe or because of boredom with my life. sometimes i haven't realised how depressed i was until the pain eases off.

depression isn't sadness. sadness is a feeling that will come and go.
i'm a naturally self reflective person so cannot link depression (hellish agony) with being introverted.

 

[Ed.]

Has anyone felt any solace in being sad? I mean, it always hurts when you' re feeling depressed, but sometimes i feel like i have to be sad. I' ve been a hell of a pessimist for as long as i can remember myself and certainly throughout teenage years, and i' ve been having suicidal thoughts at the very same time. Now my life ain' t that bad really, apart from the fact that i can' t approach girls and i get stressed over foolish matters. But things are going ok really...I should be able to deal with it. Yet, seems like being depressed is like a second nature to me, it's something i know exactly what it is and something that i feel part of me, so that i feel i' m betraying myself when i' m not sad.

Plus, although still having suicidal thoughts, they re no longer because i' m unhappy or experiencing so much pain. Suicidal thoughts usually come when i m bored or demotivated or feeling that i can t become who i wanted to be.

Anyhow, i' m probably a spoiled kid who can keep it together and enjoy the good things of life. I haven' t posted here for over 2 yrs, mostly because i was doing relatively well. I'd like to know however if there' s anyone else who feels the same way, meaning having an addiction on depression.

yep yep yep sometimes i look at myself and wonder if i enjoy being miserable, but at the same time that only happens when i am miserable, i think its easy to just slip into despair as it is a place of comfort, perhaps a subconscious excuse to not care about anything, and think only about yourself, sounds selfish but being selfish isn't always a negative thing. Heheh I sound like one of those over-motivated-my-life-was-shit-but-now-its-good-so-now-i-try-help-others guys, which is not the case, just my view on things when im feeling kinda happy at the moment.


As for approaching girls, don't bother, let them approach you they will.

 

[HomerSimpson]

I think with me I look at it as with depression at least I have "something" in my life. Sometimes, and I mean very rarely when I am not feeling suicidal I just feel basically nothing and alone, and I find myself trying to make myself depressed, because even though it is hell at least it is something in my life.

 

[Little_me]

I don't think I'm "addicted" but I feel safe in depression, it has been a part of more than the half of my life- 7 years. 7 years of depression, for almost as long as I can remember. I was abused, and since then I've been clinically depressed more or less.
I don't really know how life without depression would be like... I mean- I grew up with this! Depression is not my personality, I'm a human, but it's something... When I started taking Sertraline for suicidality a year ago I was afraid because I thought that being depressed was a part of me. Now I don't think that, but that the depression has shaped me. I'm a fragile person... But I feel safe with that, "I know where I have myself" as we say in my language. I know how to protect myself from the world.

 

[shades]

As I'm pretty sad a lot, i'm kinda sorry that I don't find solace in it? What a contradiction...finding solace in being sad. I can see what you mean though! I only hope you get to experience the happy times as well...because your happiness should be that much more of a high.

 

[DiscoverPeaceOfMind]

What a great topic. Very perceptive and interesting comments.
Here is a question to ask yourself.... What do you gain from being depressed?
Think of all sorts of areas of your life. There will be something, and there may be many things.
The mind is a marvelous tool - even by being depressed it is providing you with some sort of benefit.
I asked this question to a man yesterday. He gained 'freedom from responsibility'. Sometimes, when you know a little bit, you gain a lot...ties in with James recommendation of CBT.