Addicted to my therapist

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by TBear, Nov 3, 2010.

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  1. TBear

    TBear Antiquities Friend

    So he asked me to not call him - one call only per week... (I deleted him from my phone so the little ones wouldn't call without my knowing it, I have DID)

    Two sessions per week....This totally blew me out of the water so to say - I am no longer co-conscious all the time..... total disconnect

    I know he is doing this to help me...but it hurts so bad....

    Now i end up drinking to numb the pain: from a cup of wine for breakfast to a cup about mid-afternoon, and then one before bed....

    Not good - I know... but the pain is immense

    I can't cope cold turkey from him without something else to numb the excruciating pain of life.....
  2. hollowvoice

    hollowvoice Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    youre not alone tbear ive been going through the same things,feeling for people who are being nice to me because its their job right?
    but maybe you could use this forum as a therapist, come here everyday,instead of the drinking your right thats not good.
    whats causing your pain?
  3. TBear

    TBear Antiquities Friend

    loneliness (strange for a woman with 6 kids at home and a full time job)
    just no one there for me.....
  4. hollowvoice

    hollowvoice Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    the trouble with lonliness is you can be in a room full of people and still feel lonely
    unless you can connect with the one person who looks you in the eyes instead of gazing around,and thats what you get from a therapist,someone who looks and listens thats why we connect with them right?
  5. thedeafmusician

    thedeafmusician Staff Alumni

    Nah, it's not strange. You don't *have* to be alone to be lonely. All you need, if even is to be surrounded by people who you can't relate to or don't understand. And sometimes, not even that.

    I feel kind of strange telling you this because I am far from a mother and dont intend to be one for years yet but I do understand what you're trying to say, if at least in a somewhat different manner. All though primary school and even at the start of high school I've been lonely even though I am surrounded by people but purely because I didn't have anyone to relate to. They all wanted to play kisschasy and make sandcastles but I wanted to know strange, obscure things like how something like Schrodinger's cat could exist. And I didn't buy it when adults just said 'it just does'. I had friends but they weren't really friends at the same time. So yes, I do get what you're talking about, if to a different degree.

    It probably hurts beyond all words but your therapist sounds like he has your best interests at heart -- you admitted it yourself. But yes, it doesn't make it any easier. All I can say, at the risk of sounding trite is that time does help to heal these kinds of things. I know it *feels* that you're alone but you aren't. No one truly is. And if you want proof just come onto the forum. =)

  6. DeepEmz

    DeepEmz Well-Known Member

    Its easy to quickly adapt them feelings to somebody when they are there for you, listening and trying to help. We turn to them because we dont have anybody else who is willing to take time to sit and listen to us.

    Have you started a diary? each time you go to have a drink you could write down what your feeling, or even draw a picture of how your feeling.

    I hope this helps somewhat.
  7. TBear

    TBear Antiquities Friend

    Yes, I have been journalling and it helps to connect me both to myself, and it helps me to "say" what I can't in session....

    I do still have two sessions per week -

    I just have never really connected to anyone except to take care of them...

    Horrific abuses since the time I was 3 makes it hard for me to trust....

    I am better - He apologized for the pain, yet maintained that we needed to help me build relationships with others, and that he wasn't going anywhere...just backing off some....

    So hard - I feel like a whiny kid!
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