i think about cutting all the time. i think about pain all the time. i love that feeling of scraping the blade along my skin. of pushing it down until its so far in my finger touches the skin. i love seeing all the blood pour out. i love seeing the fat tissue poke through. i love caring for it after. i love watchin the blood come thru the bandages. its mine. i havent done any deep cuts in such a long time. but im craving to. actually craving it. i need that feeling. i need it to feel alive. to make me feel like me. to get all the evil out. i need to get all the pain out. anyone else feel like this? am i totally addicted?