Addiction Returns

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by Feared.Desire, Jan 21, 2008.

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  1. Feared.Desire

    Feared.Desire Well-Known Member

    So, I’m at a loss.
    At the age of fourteen I was abusing almost every drug you could find on the street, and breaking every moral I made or ever will have. I try to forget about that year of my life, but I know believe this line more than ever before, “You can’t outrun your past”.
    I stopped for three, four, maybe almost five months. Well, aside from drinking and a small bit of pot here and there, but in comparison I thought that was a great step up. Long behold, last weekend I went to a club again and did a number of drugs, (including acid, coke, K, pure mdma, etc…)
    Does the want ever go away? I stopped, but somehow, despite the fact I was happier than I ever was when I was doing them and re-building all the lost friendships I broke, I still wanted/needed them. I still thought about the drugs, and the lifestyle (which I think is equally if not more addictive than the drugs themselves).
    Is there anyone who can safely say there is even any hope of ever getting better? I have things going pretty well with a lady, and that would end if she found out, and my close friends would probably kill me if they found out what I was doing. I guess the whole point of this post is to ask, does anyone know anyway to help yourself quit? (Other than therapy which has been proven to be useless over and over again.)
  2. The best thing you can use to help you kick an addiction is willpower. If you do not want or have any strong hopes to quit, you will fail. But my next piece of adice to you is lower your dosages and the ammount of times you do it slowly, stopping cold turkey can make you sick- especially if after a long while... your body is used to having the substances in it and it needs them to function, so if you plan on quitting dont wake up one morning and go cold turkey; that is the most ineffective way. Sometimes it seems almost impossible to quit but if your friends and that lady mean a lot to you, it should help your drive to quit.
  3. Feared.Desire

    Feared.Desire Well-Known Member

    Valid points. And thanks for the post "InSkiesOfBlack", but now I have another question. What does it feel like to be on withdrawl? I know I must have already gone through it, because I did just stop the last time I tried to quit, and I went through alot of odd things. But now, I just did it one weekend and I did alot. Now, two weeks or so later Im just feeling so pissed off all the time (as opposed to the norm of depressed), increasingly impatient (which isn't good because I was already pretty 'short' with people) , and always tired (even more so than usual). Is this part of withdrawl? Or something completely different?
  4. WhyMeWhy

    WhyMeWhy Well-Known Member

    It depends on which drug you took the most or which drug was strongest. Almost all drug abuse can lead to bad feelings-calling itself withdrawal. Then you try taking more to beat the withdrawal-atleast partially anyways. It's a never ending cycle, and as someone already said "Rely on your willpower all that you can" to try & stop the cycle. I'm routin for you FD! TC :biggrin:
  5. Esmeralda

    Esmeralda Well-Known Member

    You aren't physically addicted to any of these drugs, otherwise the withdrawal would have been a LOT worse, but you are psychologically addicted. Lucky for you, that's a much easier addiction to beat. Firstly, you don't have to detox and you can just quit doing them cold-turkey with no danger of getting sick. the bottom line is that you just need to stop hanging around with people who do drugs and stop putting yourself in situations where drugs are readily available and start finding other interests.
  6. VALIS

    VALIS Well-Known Member

    I used to party and club a lot, mostly when i turned 21 though....its 3 years later and I am totally over it. I mean, going out and drinking happens a couple times a year at most...

    i think you have to naturally come to a point where its not fun anymore to go out and escape your problems with people who do the same thing every weekend. the truth is, its bad for your body and for your life to be caught in the nightlife. the time to do it is when you're young however, and if you're doing it anyways you might as well enjoy it while you can.

    i agree that you must replace your party habit with something better for you... all i can say is that as i've stopped being motivated to go out and use drugs, the people i hang out with have either changed with me or dropped out of my close acquaintances. me and my friends took up golfing, bowling, fishing, hiking and tennis, all activities you can't do while you're fucked up (well, not and get a decent score!!).

    seems like the coolest people with the open minds are partying and to some degree its true, the alternative lifestyle can come along with free thinking individuals, i say "can" because plenty of losers do drugs as well.

    so as most people are saying, get busy. if you have many obligations- work, school...that you simply must keep it together for, then you won't go out and hurt yourself and then feel bad about it.

    Edit: you know, scratch 40% of what I said above. I don't know your situation and I can't advise you. the real truth is, I had a lot of fun doing drugs and clubbing. A LOT of fun. I feel that going down the rabbit hole was my only real option for me, knowing what I know about myself. But there is an end to it, and you come naturally to the point where its not fun anymore

    listen to yourself. that's the absolute best truth i can give you. when its time to stop and get serious you will know. when your life suffers and it stops being fun, as you seem like a very intelligent person, change will come naturally. i am sorry for taking an opinion and advising you do do this or that when its totally an internally motivated process. i remember being heavy into partying and how little everyone else's words actually got through and helped me
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 9, 2008
  7. Feared.Desire

    Feared.Desire Well-Known Member

    Thanks for the input everyone :) I appreciate it. I’ve taken the recommencing of hobbies advice, and started fighting again, (In a gym. Trained fighting, I’ve been in martial arts since I was six, I just stopped for awhile.) And it is helping. And Valis, Lol, your right, it is a lot of fun, which makes things harder… I think I’m not only addicted to the drugs, but the lifestyle as well. But ill tank through this hopefully. Thanks for the support everyone. :)
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