reading the posts of other members who are suicidal often affects me to the point that I become despondent again.
I guess the answer is:
1. Make some change the keeps you from coming back here
or
2. Make some change that makes coming here not so bad, or even good for you.
There was a time for me when I didn't want to come here so much. There were so many people here that wanted to die, it was agonizing to me to see it. Often times I didn't feel like I was doing much good, and other times when I even seemed to be making things worse. So I mostly just stayed away, and maybe visited once every few months.
One day, something just clicked with me. People here were going to be suicidal whether I saw it or not, so there was every reason to face that and no reason not to. While I should always strive to improve, I was also doing more good than harm. There was every reason to keep posting here, and to accept that it's necessary to work with the imperfections of the world, and of myself.
Imho, it's option 2 that's the best. I don't know what route you can take to an acceptance that allows you to post here without being brought down, but I certainly think that's the best place to focus.
There's little kids that still have a mom or dad because of SF. No one has to explain to them why their mom or dad is gone and won't be coming back. There's people that still have a son, daughter, husband, wife, or friend because of SF. There's people who've had a lifetime of misery and injustice who have been able to get at least some measure of comfort because of SF. The beauty of that, the glory of that is something that I don't think can be overstated.
When someone is in a vulnerable state, just a few kind words at the right moment can make all the difference. I know of no easier way to make the world a better place.
@Winslow, if you can't get to a state where SF is not bringing you down, you really have to try to leave, it wouldn't be right for you to stay. I hope you'll be able to work out a way to stay though.