Most of my family are alcoholics got a few former hard drug addicts. Ive done Rx painkillers and loved it more than anything else. I understand what people mean when they say an addiction lasts a lifetime. Ive been clean for around 2 years but the want for it hasnt gone away. Its been so strong I seriously considered robbing a pharmacy to get them without caring that without a doubt id be caught. If I didnt have friends that knew what addiction is like and knew me really well I would have probably done that. I feel like im genetically screwed when it comes to addictive things. Name it I want it if I can get addicted. People that are 15-16 wanna be doctors police amazing things I dreamt of being a homeless heroin junkie. Something is definetly wrong with me I dont wanna be a homeless heroin addict but I still want to get high or drunk anything. I know itll probably ruin my life if I did do those things but thats never helped any. I figure my life is gunna suck anyway even if I stay totally sober.