Adolescence, sexuality.

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by plates, Apr 25, 2010.

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  1. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    Anyone have any insights into if their ED developed when they were going through puberty and if their ED was a way of containing anxiety about their bodies?

    What about the the culture you were in at lets say age 11-16 when it came to dating, sex, BFs/GFs etc? Did this effect or trigger an ED, and what did your ED mean for you back then- does it still have the same purpose if you still suffer?

    I'm recovered btw mentally/physically from anorexia/bulimia, but I'm curious as I'm now going through what I tried to stop aged 11, which was having a body of a woman and getting attention because of this, cos I'm not hiding in baggy clothes starving and b/ping anymore.
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 25, 2010
  2. Remedy

    Remedy Chat & Forum Buddy

    I think it's more likely you'll develop an ED if you grow up faster physically than others around you.
    Was the case for both myself and my life coach who had been diagnosed with an ED herself. I guess by not eating and becoming thinner I thought I'd fit in more. I'd always been shy but because I was a bit more developed I blamed that on me not being able to connect with anyone. That wasn't the sole reason but it contributed.

    Not sure if that was the kinda answer you were looking for.
  3. Little_me

    Little_me Well-Known Member

    It is that way for some, it was the trigger in my case. I got my first period at 8 and weighed at least 30 pounds more than the others and as you don't know about what puberty is at that age, other kids called me fatty and teased me when eating lunch "should you really eat that". I'm still bitter, even though I know today that they were too young to understand what they were really saying and doing: seriously hurting another person.
    It's awful, every part of this is awful but I don't believe my story is unique, it can't be. It's scary to see how much you can be willing to do to yourself just to fit in during the harsh elementary-middle school period...

    Well, it went off from that... Even in my late teens I had trouble dealing with my body shape (to be specific: the body shape I should have had if not starving myself). Now I love my figure... It's weird, it has completely turned around. Now I show my feminity, not hiding it with XL clothing or eradicating it through starvation. So I'm doing kinda the same thing as you ggg4567 :)
  4. Little_me

    Little_me Well-Known Member

    And about the sexuality thing: I wanted others to stay away from me, so I worked on making myself look less attractive. I succeeded on that point :S I really made myself look ugly back then. Now I can't remember the real reason why I did it, why I wanted others to avoid me
  5. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    Thank you for sharing Remedy, your reply was great don't worry! :hug:

    Emotionally, I wasn't ready for age 11, (I doubt many people were) it wasn't a physical growth, it was emotional. The dynamic between girls/boys then completely threw me, and I thought "this isn't for me," and made sure I went to a girls place. I did start puberty early like yourself, so was body conscious and felt "disgusting."

    I'm really sorry to hear you went through that and the kids tormented you for your weight. It sounds horrible for a young child to be so conscious about food and weight. I understand what you mean about thinking "they don't know any better", but children can be cruel, and where they get those ideas from is the question.

    I know! I felt that about girls around me aged 11-12. This was what I think I meant in my OP. I needed to get well away from that and I look back at my time in a girls school from 12-16 as heaven, because I didn't go through the torture that my sister went through, and it was very very image based, feels like a rushed-way-too-fast childhood and my sexuality/feelings grew naturally and was pretty much my own rather than forced by boys or girls around me.

    I feel so similar and am going through a similar process of dealing with being seen after so many years of hiding/starving. It's good to know that someone is in a similar place in her life :D. There was a time that hips, breasts, thighs or water-retention cos of PMS, would mean me puking but I'm actually loving the way I'm growing, how I feel, how I look and what clothes I can wear now I can fit into women's clothing!

    Yeah me too. I relate to every word you say here. I wanted to disfigure myself, facially to repel people away from me at some points in my life. I just hated being looked at in any way because I'd feel it as an attack or an invasion...or I had men flashing or touching themselves up in front of me in public when I was feeling good about myself. Not being seen or hiding/starving/disappearing was safety from possible mistreatment. Didn't get me very far as I was in terrible relationships for years that I thought was ok..

    Thanks for sharing Little Me and Remedy. :hug:
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 25, 2010
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