So, my second-last attempt at finding a reason to live was making real life friends. This was NOT successful in any sense of the word. Just about giving up, a month ago I decided to get a cat to help alleviate the loneliness. First thing I needed to do was move to a cat-friendly place, and I searched high and low for a suitable place to live, and I finally found it. I moved in yesterday. I found the cat I wanted about 2 weeks ago... http://www.torontohumanesociety.com/adopt/foster.asp The one name Odessa. "I am very scared... and I spend most of my time hiding." I think many of the people on this forum feel this way - I certainly do. I fell in love with her pretty quickly and I made it my goal to rescue her. The second I was finished moving in to my new place I went down to the shelter and began the process of adopting. Unfortunately, I lacked some information and preparation. Bright and early today, therefore, I finished my preparation completely, and when the shelter opened I headed back down... I am unfit to adopt a cat. Am I abusive? No. Would I not be an ideal match for her? No. Am I financially incapable of taking care of her? Apparently - since I'm not employed at this exact moment, REGARDLESS of the fact that I've got savings for perhaps a year on hand, I can not afford a cat. Fortunately I was too devastated to violently assault anyone at the shelter, but I've been shaking with rage since. Using my ample financial resources I grabbed a lot of booze on the way home. Fuck this shit. And thinking about job searching again? I'd really rather be dead. I shouldn't be working a shitty $11/hour job I hate, I should be entering my 4th year of mechanical engineering or even grad school. I shouldn't be desperately seeking a cat to alleviate my loneliness, I should have a girlfriend and a decent circle of friends - 5 or so would be grand. Why can't ONE GODDAMN THING IN MY LIFE GO RIGHT? Edit: Oh, and if I'd just lied and said I had a job, I'd have my Dessy here right now. Goooo honesty!