Im 31. I have suffered from depression and anxiety disorders for as long as I can remember. I spent 11 years going through many types of treatments and spending a small fortune on medication, therapists, hospital stays, and group therapy. Nothing help significantly to improve my ability to cope and combat my illness. I stopped treatment because it wasnt working and I cant afford it anymore. I was also dropped from my insurance as well. My condition has quite simply destroyed my life. All my dreams. All my hopes. Goals, relationships, oppurtunities, everything. I cant necessarily blame it all on that. I lacked courage to face my condition head on. I folded to every anxiety attack. I isolated myself more and more. The condition created prison bars around me. And that basically how I live. In a mental prison. Im alone all the time and live in a very narrow world. Im sure i contributed alot to the severity of what im going through. And I deserve to be in this posistion. Having mental problems causes you not be able to make sound and simple decisions. Every mistake or lost oppurtunity is critical. Ive failed in life and I know I have to live with the consequences despite a lifelong battle with anxiety and depression. I dont know if this is the best place for advice but I just wanted to get opinions of those who have been through the horrors of depression and anxiety and can give me advice on how to survive on my own and share their own stories and ways to cope. Im lost. Im an uneducated, sick, obese man. Ive never had a real job per se. Ive been a car detailer and janitor for 12 years basically because its an isolated job where I can be alone and work and I cant do anything else around other people. I have severe social anxiety and slight agoraphobia. I can barely go to the store most times. The company that I work for is declining. I have to do something else. The hardest part about having mental illness is that noone is going to care about what problems you have at work or anything else. Business is business. Only the strong survive. Its hard to compete with built in disadvantages. I need to know how someone who lives with severe depression and anxiety can be able to function and make it in this world. I cant apply for disability. As I was told mental illness is very difficult to apply for in disability. Because it is looked at as treatable and not a permanent affliction. I have 11 years on the contrary. I really have no life, no family, no real passion for living. Im not living. There is nothing I can really offer the world. Im unattractive and cant really offer anything to anyone. Im just a spectator. Hoping the movie will just end soon. Im not a strong person. I know I have no chance at a normal life. But I still have to live. I still have to be here. I still have to suffer through it. I know there are stronger people on this board who has spent many years living with anxiety and depression and Im just hoping for advice from anyone on how to cope and move on.