Advice for a loser

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by Hache, Oct 9, 2007.

  1. Hache

    Hache Well-Known Member

    I'm nearly 20 and i've never had a girlfriend before:rolleyes:

    No its not another one of those please tell me its alright and i'm not alone topics.

    Anyway there's this girl at work that i like... a lot. (now you're thinking oh no not another one of these, well i have already warned you i am a loser and i'm not a young teenager either) I think she likes me or is just being friendly, its not like she's flirty or anything but today she did start laughing at my not so hilarious jokes (i read that was a sign somewhere :tongue:) Anyway its not a case of does she like me. The thing is i am a loser, i have like 1 friend now (who travels 12+ miles just to see me) all my friends have left home and dont come back, i dont go out because of it. Whereas this girl does go out, does have friends, makes me feel inadequate, will i be good enough for her etc etc:wink: What is she going to think of someone with no friends. Then again its not like i want to go out with her friends i want to go out with her lol. I dunno its just a fear through lack of experience and not going with the norm. The fact i'm a loser isnt really going to win anyone over, err

    I want advice yet i dont even really know what the advice should be about lol

    Now i know you're thinking, this is a suicide forum not dating site.

    But this girl takes all my pain away! Takes my depression away and makes me want to live.

    Anyway i'll keep this thread posted regular with updates as i move in:tongue:
  2. kath

    kath Well-Known Member

    Welcome to the forum and do let us know how it goes.i think a lot of people get anxious about these types of things.Just take it slowly and see what comes.Good luck.
  3. seishou

    seishou Guest

    I don't think you will find one girl that can answer what all girls would feel hache. Unless girls really are like that, in which case I'm an idiot. Anyhow, it's good that you have found someone you like, something like that can truly put some will back in you. I would give you some advice if I could. Unfortunantly, being in a similar situation as you I don't really have any knowledge to share :/ Actually, I'll check by this thread, and you'll probably end up being the one who gives me advice :tongue: . I hope things work out tho, and remember this: 1 good friend beats having 1000 lousy ones. Be happy you have a friend that enjoys your company, and would drive that far to hang out:smile:
  4. Lead Savior

    Lead Savior Well-Known Member

    Go out on a limb, no two ways around it
  5. Hache

    Hache Well-Known Member

    Back from work. Everything i wanted to happen never did, we spoke but we were never alone, and on the way out she was walking with someone else. Tommorow may be my last chance, might ask someone to find out if she has a boyfriend for me, she's giving off looks which say come and get me when you're ready, or maybe i'm reading them wrong, i dont want to be a tit.
  6. Lead Savior

    Lead Savior Well-Known Member

    That is the problem with the prevailing male-female dynamic, it is overwhelmingly males that have to be the ones sticking their necks out and dealing with possible rejection. But fuck all that, if you want something bad enough you'll do it up sir! I'll be one of the guys in your corner:
  7. DenverChris

    DenverChris Member

    I've been in this situation numerous times. I'm afraid of rejection to, like most guys, but I've found out that the rejection is usually nowhere near as bad as the fear of rejection. I know that probably sounds like some kind of lame-ass goofy advice, but it's really true, for me....

    On another note, I feel like you might be setting yourself up for disappointment...I don't think that there is anyone out there who you will meet that will take away all the pain and depression and whatever else you might be going through.... I'm sorry if I'm bringing you down... What do I know, though??? I'm pretty f74824 in the head myself....

    My advice would be to just go up to her and talk to her and try to relax and be yourself. I know for some guys (me included...) that it can be difficult and very, very nerve-wracking to do, but if you try to talk to her/ask her out and you're nervous and desperate and completely un-confident, well...that's a big turn-off.

    Hopefully this is kinda helpful....
  8. Puddytat

    Puddytat Well-Known Member

    well im a girl in your corner...

    but i have to agree wl chris, the fear of rejection is worse. you wait so long building up all this hope only to be disappointed. sometimes its better to just go up to her, (ignoring your nerves) and get it over w/ and ask her. then you know right then and there w/out having to drag it on too long and get even more hurt.
    saves a lot of time and effort too. if she rejects you then fine, whatever, not the end of the world, more fish in the sea, blah blah. you atleast havent wasted too much time on it. if she accepts it, then you have even more time to spend together instead of wishing well i wish i spoke up sooner or whatever.

    oh and btw, i have like NO friends, basically all my friends are my bfs. for me anyway, spending time w/ my bf is more important than friends anyway, because if i get married, hes the one i have to keep happy, not them!
  9. Hache

    Hache Well-Known Member

    thanks, thats pursuaded me to push more this evening. I'll report back when i come home.
  10. DenverChris

    DenverChris Member

    Good luck! And, I know this is way easier said than done, but try to relax and just be yourself....
  11. Hache

    Hache Well-Known Member

    she has a bf of 3 weeks, i'm too late, probably was never good enough anyway
  12. LetItGo

    LetItGo Staff Alumni

    It was brave of you to even do it, its something i could never do. Just cause she has a boyfriend doesnt mean it will last either...
  13. Lead Savior

    Lead Savior Well-Known Member

  14. Puddytat

    Puddytat Well-Known Member


    you've done it now once, might have been petrifying but you know now that you can do it. makes it easier next time.

    dont be disappointed tho.

    yeah, it might not last, did she say anything about you that might have given you an indication she would have been interested if single?

    im not saying to interfere w/ the relationship tho, but just incase it does go south, you have a second chance.
  15. Hache

    Hache Well-Known Member

    i never asked, it was brought up by someone else at break. She's blanked me for two days anyway, got other friends now, meh
  16. Amanda

    Amanda Well-Known Member

    You know even though she has a boyfriend, why not be her friend, invite her out for a coffee or something as a friend?
  17. Puddytat

    Puddytat Well-Known Member

    oh, im sorry to hear that, well either way, you know now so you can act appropriately.

    i agree w/ the-man, there is no harm in having her as a friend. some of the best relationships bloom from friendship. you can always keep your options open for other girls.
  18. Hache

    Hache Well-Known Member

    could try and get her msn for now