Advice from anyone please.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Want, Jul 1, 2010.

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  1. Want

    Want New Member

    My 18 year old brother cut his wrists the other day. Thank god he was found and he is doing ok but im so worried about him. He is one of the nicest people in the world and this is why it is so upsetting to think he is going through this mental torture alone. He suffers with anxiety and has for years which sometimes affects his sleep but other than that we thought he was generally a happy person. He has plenty of good friends and a good social life. He is a typical teenage boy though and finds it hard to talk about his feelings. He seems to be in good form but this may be a front as he seemed ok before.

    So my question is, what should we be doing? Should we leave him to talk in his own time or should we be questioning him about what happened? He has an appointment to see a cognitive behavioural therapist, has anyone tried this?
    Has anyone here who suffers from anxiety tried to commit suicide or do you think there could be another factor too?

    Please give me advice, im terrified he will do it again and I would just lose my life if anything happened him!
  2. sudut

    sudut Well-Known Member

    not a bad idea
  3. Daphna

    Daphna Well-Known Member

    Reach out to him, and be calm about it. Share your feelings with him, and your fears. Tell him how his actions have affected you, and ask him if there is anything you can do to help him. You said thank God he was found. Share the hope found in God with him. I am assuming by that remark you are a believer. He is suffering, and he can make it out of this. Just be the loving person you are, and try to get him to open up. Blessings..
  4. Madam Mim

    Madam Mim Well-Known Member

    I would like to second everything Daphna said. Remember that your brother is suffering, and needs to feel loved and supported. He is obviously good at hiding his emotions, so you need to let him know that he can talk to you without you judging him or dragging him to a doctor or getting upset. I think one of the main reasons many of us don't reach out for help is because we fear being ignored or turned away. Ensure that he knows this won't happen.

    He may still be unable to talk openly, and so it may be a good idea to seek counselling, but please don't force him to go, or guilt trip him into it. The CBT is a good idea, and I have heard that it is usually very successful, but don't rely on it as being a 'cure'. He still needs the love and support of his family.

    I hope things improve for him. The best thing you can do is be honest and open and make sure he knows you are always there for him.

  5. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Hi Want and welcome to SF. First off, I think that you are a very kind and caring person to want to help your brother cope with his depression. Has he ever cut his wrists before? Many people cut themselves as a way of releasing pain and once a person starts purposely cutting, it can be very difficult to stop. Be a supportive, helpful and caring sister to him. He needs to know that he is loved by his family, because people suffering from depression often feel that they are worthless. :hug:
  6. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    Don't leave him on his own with his pain.

    Definitely be there for him, gently, tenderly, lovingly, showing him you care. Be open to listening. If you can convey to him you are willing to listen no matter what he needs to say, and that you won't judge him, it would be good...but truly listen. You don't have to offer advice or say many words, perhaps hear what he is trying to convey about his pain and help him realize you are willing to be there for him and walk with him through this tough time he's having. Reassure him. Perhaps you can let him know you are concerned, and would like for the two of you to come up with a plan, so that if things get too rough, overwhelming, or he feels he is losing his ability to cope, that he will make an agreement to come to you and let you know what is going on...just some kind of pre-planning for those rough times he may experience. It may also be a bit of comfort for him, knowing there is a plan in place and knowing what steps to take when he begins to feel backed into a corner or alone.

    don't act too visibly shook over the cuts, help him stop the bleeding, clean himself up, determine if he needs medical attention. I don't know, help him feel safe with you if you coming to you. compassion.

    Seeing a therapist he can really talk to would be a good thing too.

    :hug: for you. Keep coming here and talking for support and advice :console:
  7. Marty482

    Marty482 Well-Known Member

    The advice people before me gave is so good I don't know what I can add. I will pray for your brother and you. But he needs attention and support and love. Try not to be emotional or overwhelmed by it when with him. Make syre ,of course, he's never alone.Just offer him support and comfort and let him know as much as you can how much you need and love him. I would ask him to talk ,but if he won't I wouldn't push. I would shower him with attention and make sure he gets to a hospital or therapist soon as possible. That's the only thing to be gently firm about if you have to. But do your best,it's so hard to manage in a crisis like this. You have my heart and prayers. Maybe you could buy him a kitten or a puppy that might get his mind off things and he will have someone to take care of and help. That might help too. But let him know most of all how much you need him. You might want to share some of your own struggles and that may prompt him to talk. God bless you.

    Feel free to write if you want,

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