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Advice needed

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by James1111, Oct 25, 2014.

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  1. James1111

    James1111 Member

    I'm 65 and feeling like ending it.

    I felt this way 2 years ago but did not do anything. In fact I have felt this way periodically since my middle age.

    I have always been an honest stand up guy; nearly always done the right thing.

    After close to 40 years of marriage I had an affair with a younger attractive woman. It felt cool but sh*t at the same time.

    My wife took it badly (not surprisingly) and though I left the home she has kept on at me to return.

    I am living with the other woman but I still have strong feelings/love for my wife and have said that I will return to her. However, she does not know that I am living with a woman and thinks I am living alone. I have not had the balls/guts to tell her as she just breaks down. As an ex-catholic, I feel tremendous guilt.

    If I do return, she will have to know and I cannot face telling her - seeing the disappointment once more on her face and hearing her sob.

    AS I write /read this, it sounds pathetic - it probably is but after all my past situations this feels like it is pushing me over the edge,

    DO I need advice? I will certainly listen and welcome it though I feel I know what I have to do to avoid harming myself.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Advice you and your wife go to a marriage councilor and get so help to repair your marriage if it is what you truly want
  3. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    All I can do is echo what Total Eclipse said; if you truly want to try and repair your marriage, I think you're both going to need plenty of counseling.
  4. johnsm

    johnsm Member

    James I am 63, I do not have the same problems as you but I have the same feelings about ending everything, what I would do James is to meet with your wife and tell the complete truth, don't hide anything, yes it will be hurtful but from your post I am sure you will both be able to overcome everything, try that first before counselling if all else fails then go for Counselling, by telling the complete truth you have nothing to hide and make a clean start,
  5. James1111

    James1111 Member

    Thanks, for all comments.

    I know that what you write is correct.

    Only speaking and living the truth will release me.

    It so difficult for me to tell the truth to her but I realize that she will be released too.

    Having written that down, I feel somewhat better.

    Now, I have to implant that and keep it in the forefront of my mind.

    Again thanks.
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