I'm 65 and feeling like ending it. I felt this way 2 years ago but did not do anything. In fact I have felt this way periodically since my middle age. I have always been an honest stand up guy; nearly always done the right thing. After close to 40 years of marriage I had an affair with a younger attractive woman. It felt cool but sh*t at the same time. My wife took it badly (not surprisingly) and though I left the home she has kept on at me to return. I am living with the other woman but I still have strong feelings/love for my wife and have said that I will return to her. However, she does not know that I am living with a woman and thinks I am living alone. I have not had the balls/guts to tell her as she just breaks down. As an ex-catholic, I feel tremendous guilt. If I do return, she will have to know and I cannot face telling her - seeing the disappointment once more on her face and hearing her sob. AS I write /read this, it sounds pathetic - it probably is but after all my past situations this feels like it is pushing me over the edge, DO I need advice? I will certainly listen and welcome it though I feel I know what I have to do to avoid harming myself.