Advice on a situation please

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by thepainwithin, Dec 11, 2012.

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  1. thepainwithin

    thepainwithin Well-Known Member

    Is it wrong for me to say this to my roommate?

    I already don't like him, and he caught me smoking pot and he's not OK with it. He said he'll call the cops if I do it again in our apartment. He is, however, OK with our underage roommate breaking the law by underage drinking.

    Hypocritical much?

    So would it be wrong for me to say to him "if I have to follow the rules, so does our underage roommate. And like you told me you're not going to be nice about it if you catch me again, I'm not going to be nice about it with him. I'm just going to call the police, so if you decide I can't smoke pot, you better warn him to not underage drink here. Either we can both break the rules or we both have to follow them. But you can't pick and choose which laws you obey"

    That way it puts him in an awkward position. I'm forcing him to enforce the same rules he's tries to enforce with me on our roommate. And our roommate isn't going to be happy that he can't invite his friends over and throw parties. Just like I'm not too happy that my roommate is telling me to go elsewhere to smoke. Sorry, but you get caught outside.

    i've been told i am in the right. i've also been told that all 3 of us are in the wrong, me for smoking, our underage roommate for drinking, and him for caring about this but not that.

    my heart says yes and no. i guess the more i dwell on it, instead of just letting it go, the more i think i should let it go. would it be worth making things worse? can things even get worse? my heart says it makes sense. i'm in the right. but no at the same time.

    and my mind wants to tell the condescending hypocritical bastard off.... you punish me then we're all punished. selfish, maybe. but i'm tired putting number 1 second all the time. i've put other people before me so long and kharma chops off my testicals. in a world where everyone is so self centered, is it wrong for me to be selfish?
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 11, 2012
  2. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    A different angle and opinion if I may:

    It does not matter who is doing what. All that really matters is what you are doing. I don't smoke pot, but I personally believe drinking is worse for a person. That's just my personal opinion. Neither one is good. You might want to seek out a new roommate once your term with this one expires. There are larger issues to deal with in a police bust resulting from illegal drugs than from under aged drinking (I'm not condoning the drinking situation though). There is also the issue of second hand smoke - yes, it can affect others who come in contact. Where your argument has difficulty is in that just because someone else does something wrong does not excuse one's own activity. "Everyone else is stealing so why not I?" I can understand what you are saying, but it seems immaterial. Note that I am not condoning or faulting anything any of your are doing, but am just putting the prospective out that to succeed in life it is important to worry first about ourselves.
  3. thepainwithin

    thepainwithin Well-Known Member

    It's more of how he so rudely asks me not to, treats me like I'm drug addict, like he "understand because he has friends that do it" as if it's a condition or something.

    It's still illegal what he's doing. If I'm in my room, he can't get in trouble, his main concern. They drink in the open, the common space, where we're all responsible.
  4. Finance

    Finance Well-Known Member

    If the cops get called, you'd be in deepest with the cannabis. The finger pointing won't work on scene or in court.

    Change of address time.
  5. Moat

    Moat Banned Member

    I would have to agree with Finance there, that if the police ever do get involved, while your underage roommate would get in trouble, it will more than likely be nothing more than a call to her/his guardian or parent(s) and/or the result of being charged over it, but you, with marijuana would be in far more trouble, since it is an illegal substance and there are hefty fines and penalties in most countries for simply being in possession of it.
    I honestly think that while it would be good to enforce the same rules as your other roommate handed down to you, but that, I believe will simply stir up the hornets nest, so to speak. In my own recommendation is that I would much more readily suggest you find a new place to live, if possible and, although you could be smoking merely for the enjoyment of it (I admit to having smoked the stuff myself for a decade on and off and now been clean for 3 years and counting the rest of my life purely by my own choice) you look for a better (and legal) medium in which you can enjoy yourself.
  6. thepainwithin

    thepainwithin Well-Known Member

    Well I wouldn't be calling the cops if I had anything.

    But I thought about it. I'm not going to say anything, just be more careful. catching me twice out of over 100 times...
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