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Advice on how to talk to my crush?

Discussion in 'Strategies for Success' started by robynhood, Dec 12, 2017.

  1. robynhood

    robynhood Active Member


    I've got a crush on the librarian at school. I'm not sure that she's interested in women but I feel like she is open-minded. I won't ever be back at my college after Friday, I'm graduating, and I really want to get to know her.

    By now I'm sure that she has a clue that I hold some sort of attraction towards her because I've been asking her stupid questions about the library. She specializes in certain fields that I am particularly very interested in. I actually feel like there is a spark between us, but I'm not sure how to transition from a professional relationship to something more friendly, informal. I would like to ask her to get coffee with me but I feel it's too abrupt. I usually don't chase women like this, but you can't control who you're crushing on, ha. I have no problem approaching her, I just fear coming on too strong and seeming condescending as I usually do which sets me up for rejection and humiliation.

    I don't think I'm repulsive. I can be funny and a great listener. Not sure if I should move on or still give it a shot.
  2. SofiaLisbon

    SofiaLisbon Well-Known Member

    Lets see.. Im not very good at this but maybe an idea is to find out if she has an email address (from the institution?) and ask some question, and see if she responds in a formal or informal way. If the responses are informal, maybe she'd be ok with a more informal conversation in real life, for example if she'd like to exchange phone numbers. I wouldn't ask her too much personal stuff using the institutional email because I'm not sure if some institutions can't read them, oh, yeah, which would make her responses be in a formal way.. So yeah, not sure if its a good idea.
    Other way is maybe try to find her in social media and send a message like "hey thanks for all your patience with the library" or something and see how she reacts. Hope things work out !
  3. robynhood

    robynhood Active Member

    OK, moving on then lol
    SofiaLisbon likes this.
  4. Ash600

    Ash600 SF Creative SF Supporter

    Following on from what @SofiaLisbon has suggested, maybe approaching her in the library and suggesting as a way of thanks for the help and patience she's shown towards you in the library, ask her if you can buy her a coffee. That could be a good way to break the ice as it'll be seen as something friendly and informal, and then see how things develop from there at a causal pace.
    SofiaLisbon likes this.
  5. Harrow

    Harrow Well-Known Member

    I don't think asking her for coffee is a bad idea at all. What I generally do when I ask a girl out like that is, I try tell her I've appreciated all the help she's giving me (in this case for you the library) and then I ask her if I could buy her a lunch because I'd like to know her better.