Hello, For the past several years I’ve suffered with agoraphobia and depression. I’ve avoided all contact with everyone apart from the mental health team which I’ve seen regularly for the past four years. I find speaking to anyone, be it face to face, on the phone or via the internet extremely hard and only do so now because of the situation i’m in which has left me unable to cope with going on with my life. I’ll explain my current situation: I’ve been on Venlafaxine for the past year and have just recently come off it with the help of Diazepam (I have tried several times before to come off but the withdrawal symptoms were too hard to manage). I’ve now been off Venlafaxine for two weeks and have just started Moclobemide. Now, two weeks ago my mood and mental state were stable – it wasn’t great, but I was coping – i’m now extremely depressed and to add to that, suicidal. I find that during the day and throughout the night there will be periods of time where I experience extreme anxiety which lead to severe suicidal thoughts and manic behaviour which I am unable to cope with. During these periods, which usually last two to three hours subsiding only when I exhaust myself, I find myself pacing the house, buying ridiculous amounts of crap over the internet, cutting myself, vomiting and misusing excess Diazepam. I also have access to a never ending supply of Morphine (someone I live with has severe psychical illness) which I have now started using in an attempt to calm myself. I’ll pretty much do anything I can to get through these periods of suicidal mania. My psychiatrist has given me an increased supply of Diazepam in an attempt to try and calm me whilst the Venlafaxine/Moclobemide washout/kick-in takes effect but that doesn’t seem to be working. The logical explanation for these suicidal attacks are because of the changeover of medication, I know that, but it doesn’t make it any easier for me to cope nor does it change my feelings. I seem to be exhausting my options; i’m certainly not going to go on like this for much longer. I expect to be committing suicide in the next 10-15 years (yes, if i can get through my current suicidal period i will need therapy on that one) but I don’t want to do so now but it’s looking more and more like that’s going to be the case. Any help or advice would be appreciated. I apologise if I have posted in the wrong section or if what I have said doesn’t make any sense.