Ok, I need advice. I need to do it again, just once, but I risk losing my best friend if I do. But I can't cope. I can't lose him though, he's said that if I ever do it again hes going to leave. But I need to do it. I'm hurting so much right now and its the only way to get rid of the pain, the only way to stop the confusion in my head. I just need to do it. But then i'll never see him again. WHAT DO I DO!!!