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advice please?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by nonethelessjaclyn, Oct 11, 2010.

  1. nonethelessjaclyn

    nonethelessjaclyn Well-Known Member

    so i have been going out with my boyfriend for almost half a year. he is the one i gave my virginity to, and i don't think i made a mistake by doing so. i love him with all my heart and i honestly think we will be together for a very long time.
    but some things are always brought up and it's really starting to worry me.
    before i met my boyfriend he was into a lot of bad stuff. drinking, drugs, stealing, etc. when we started talking, i mentioned how i hate drug abuse. he then decided to get clean for me. since that day he has been sober, off most drugs.
    i'm starting to get really paranoid because he is always talking about parties he had gone to and did this drug and that. i'm so afraid that he's going to go back to heroin again. it frightens me. he assures me that he would never do anything that stupid because he wouldn't risk losing me, but i still worry.
    am i just being paranoid or is this normal?
  2. Viro

    Viro Well-Known Member

    If he's telling you that he's using drugs at parties, you aren't being paranoid. It's perfectly reasonable for you to be wondering what he's up to when he's out.
  3. Daijou

    Daijou Well-Known Member

    You have all the reason to be worried, especially if he talks as if it were still appealing.
    He clearly means a lot to you, and you don't want to see him go back to his old way.
    Maybe talk to him about it and let him know it upsets you and that you are worried.
    Honesty is the best thing in a relationship.
  4. nonethelessjaclyn

    nonethelessjaclyn Well-Known Member

    thank you so much for the advice. i did talk to him about it and he said he hasn't used since we started talking and if he ever wanted to or did he would tell me. i trust him enough for him not to lie to me. i feel much better now.
    thanks again.
    lots of love.
  5. Daijou

    Daijou Well-Known Member

    That's good to hear. I'm glad you got that out of the way and that you're both open and honest with each other.
    Best of luck to you guys. :hug:
  6. fisch

    fisch Well-Known Member

    Let me give you the alternate perspective. I'd give up cigarettes to be with the person I love. I've used stronger things in my life, including smack. And I'd trade it all in for the right person to just come along and for a meaningful relationship. So the real question is not whether he does drugs or not, but if he is, then why is he putting the drugs ahead of you? Are you guys as solid as you think you are....is there still a spark/sense of humour, etc, when you spend time together does it make you both feel happy or does one person break down in tears/anxiety after each encounter? Does either of you dread the next time you see the other? You love him and if he feels the same, he wouldn't do that stuff anymore, right?

    Obviously I know little about the two of you and you both might still be as close as ever for all I know, so take this all with a pinch of salt. My point is it's not about the drugs, it's about the two of you.

    Edit: Just read your 2nd post and it sounds like you both are really close knit and love each other, that's fantastic and I'm really happy for you. Take care now..