My self harming is getting worse; i cut my leg with a blade, normally i have it quite controlled it's never deeper than butterfly stitches that i do at home! The last time i cut i should have gone to a+e for a couple of stitches, it wasn't too bad; a bit deeper than normal but since then i have wanted to cut again but deeper! The deeper i cut the more i felt... i'm not sure of the word... more whole? centred? in control? calm? all of the above! I'm scared when i cut again i'm going to go too deep and need stitches at the hospital. I've never gone before for self harm and i have my kids! My heads going crazy and i'm getting a little panicy now.