Advice: Too Immature to be in a relationship?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by will_1957, Jun 26, 2010.

  1. will_1957

    will_1957 Well-Known Member

    I'm almost 23 and living at home. I graduated from college last year but have not been able to find a job in my field. I do have a job but it's a crappy retail one that would barely cover the bills. As far as my personality I know that it needs a lot of work. My depression has left very little as far as good qualities in me (at least ones I can see). That might just be my depression talking but I really feel like every one else has grown up and I haven't.

    As it stands I've never been able to talk to women but if there was some one I don't know if I would be mature enough to be in a stable relationship with them. But I know I want to be in a relationship because I want someone to love and care for.

    I just wanted advice.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 26, 2010
  2. Lost.

    Lost. Well-Known Member

    Enjoy your freedom.

    Get an escort.
  3. will_1957

    will_1957 Well-Known Member

    Freedom is overrated. An escort is out of the question for me.
  4. mandyj101

    mandyj101 Well-Known Member

    Hi there..

    I read recently that because the cost of living has gone up so much.. on average people dont leave home until they are 30! so i shouldnt worry about being at home at 23..Unless of course you want to leave.. then it could be good to have some independance? if thats the case have you considered 'house sharing' ? It would probably be affordable..
    Do you have any hobbies /interests? maybe check out if there are any groups or meet-ups about something you enjoy .. that you could go to .. might take some pressure off of meeting someone 'special'..
    I should probably heed my own advice there .. as im 22 and dont have much of a social life.. in fact its pretty much non existant .. :unsure:

    Getting an escort probably wont solve anything..

    Hope i have helped a little..
    Take care x
  5. will_1957

    will_1957 Well-Known Member

    I want to leave because I am a burden on my family if I stay. Its just an issue of money. If I had gotten a decent paying job then I might have been able to afford a place of my own. I don't know any one that I could share an apartment with (I don't know any one at all).

    Most of my hobbies are things that you do alone. I don't know if any one would really be into anything that I'm into. I do go out sometimes with a group, but it's at outings at a community mental health agency and most of the people there are much older than me.

    I've thought about online dating but I really wouldn't know what to say about myself (I'd have a hard time saying anything positive) and just thinking about going on to something like eharmony freaks me out. My social anxiety has made it really hard to make friends or be in relationships...
  6. greyroses

    greyroses Well-Known Member

    My two cents: some people measure themselves in terms of maturity. This is something I have never been able to fully understand. How do you measure that? If I am 54 and I like to put whoopie cushions under people before they sit, because this is usually attributed to 11 year old boy, I am acting like an 11 year old boy? But Im 54. So wouldnt I be be acting like a 54 year old who likes to put whoopie cushions under people? And anyway, even if it is insisted on that this is "immature", it is at least way more interesting/fun/amusing than sitting around and taking things too seriously. There are plenty of ways to live your life, and plenty of others who do it in at least one of each of those. You might meet someone who can appreciate whatever it is about yourself that you consider immature.
    I am often told I act very childish (and also told how mature I am), and have come to realize that acting like Im five with my humor or whatever means nothing in terms of how I treat and respect others and how I can be there for them as well as continue to grow as a person.

    Maybe that was more like 25 cents. But I like quarters better anyhow.
  7. will_1957

    will_1957 Well-Known Member

    When I say immature I mean not being very well-acquainted with the things that "every one learns" as far as life skills that are gained when a person grows up or becomes an adult. Common every day things and responsibilities. I lack that. I'm immature in other ways but there are some things that are more detrimental to my social life than others.
  8. someone uk

    someone uk Well-Known Member

    ok i can say for sure that "maturity" just depends on how mature she is and people always manage to find someone at their level
    poor social skills are definitely detrimental to getting in a relationship
    idk what you specifically mean about "life skills" can't say much
    though with skills of any sort they are not really learned by picking up a book they are normally learned by going out there and making stupid mistakes and learning from them, like human beings do
  9. will_1957

    will_1957 Well-Known Member

    I don't suppose going onto something like would be advisable if I was looking for someone to start a relationship with?
  10. Lost.

    Lost. Well-Known Member

    Good luck.

    There's a reason why women turn to dating sites, though.

    A lot of them are either ugs, super picky/stuck up ****s, or just as unstable as everyone on this site.
  11. will_1957

    will_1957 Well-Known Member

    I joined one of those online dating sites but I'm really not going to get my hopes up. (God my little profile looks pathetic)...
  12. yous

    yous Well-Known Member

    My Gaw, you are still young and you are complaining about whether or not your mature enough to talk to women? You got a whole life ahead of you. Focus on career, then the women would fly to your feet.

    You are at the perfect age for dating and finding someone. Wait until you reach a lot of our ages.
  13. mcviking

    mcviking Well-Known Member

    Escorts are terrible. They will make you feel dirty and stupid. Hookers don't kiss.