so i have been suffering from borderine personality disorder and depression for eight years, and it just has gotten worse and worse. i have tried everything. i have had numerous suicide attempts and numerous hospitalizations. i have tried all the different meds and therapies. i have even tried to ect. none of it works. i have just gotten worse and worse. it is to the point now where I am hurting my family. i can hear he pain and hurt in thier voices when i mention it. they have told me numerous times they would do better without me. for the past month every single time i sleep i have this dream where i kill myself...and it shows how the world progresses without me. a lot of good things happen when i succeed. could this be a sign? i feel that i have to do this to make all these positive things happen?...also do you guys believe that you go to hell for killing yourself?