Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by flitterflutter, Aug 10, 2016.

  1. flitterflutter

    flitterflutter New Member

    Hey Guys,

    A little background:

    Past - I've been dealing with depression for literally as long as I can remember. My dad was extremely emotionally/mentally abusive to me. My parents split up when I was 9. I was literally forced to see my dad every other weekend and certain holidays etc. So that was pretty horrible in itself. My main issue I've been dealing with is rejection. (in the broadest sense)
    Now - I have always struggled with jobs. My self esteem was always nonexistent. Any little comment would have me spiraling. But this time, it has been worse. I work full time as a print consultant at kinkos (fedex office) people always come in there ready to point fingers. It's rare that I have a "good" day at work. I always have to ask myself, "Who is going to verbally abuse me for no reason next?" I get it, that's retail. But this time, its deeper than that. I call in a lot. I just can't handle a job right now.

    Last Sunday, I tried to kill myself. I have moments where I think I'm doing much better, and then literally that night I want to die, I'm balling my eyes out in frustration... So that's what happened Sunday, <Mod Edit:Methods> Got home, cried again, and took them. It was only enough to make me really sick for a few days (as I'm pretty much back to normal now)
    So this is me, feeling really, really stupid. The pain is there and I feel so numb to everything. I know it was a dumb thing to do, and I know I need help.

    I know I can't work another day in that place, and that when I feel I can go back to work, I would go somewhere part time. But here'e my question, how can I go about quitting my job? (I'm scheduled to work tomorrow at 1 to close.) I don't know the first thing to say... and I feel like I'm just being a baby compared to everyone else.
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 10, 2016
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi & welcome to the forum. My best advice to you would be to get some professional help, maybe medications and therapy and sleep on the idea of quitting your job. You are not being a baby, you're going through a very difficult time and that is understandable, I am glad you decided to join here and talk with us.

    Please seek professional help for your attempt, while you may not feel sick you might have did some damage and thats probably the best time to get help for your depression/stress too. Good luck hun :)
    brknsilence likes this.
  3. brknsilence

    brknsilence Well-Known Member

    Sorry you're struggling with this. Hugs Welcome to SF. We're here for you if you want to talk, but you still need to seek a professional to help you through this. Please look after yourself first. You are more important then your job.

    If you need to find the right words to say on quitting your job, just tell them you can't work for them anymore. You shouldn't need to have a reason why you no longer want to work for them anymore.

    Please go in and see a dr to help you through the thoughts you are having.

    Please stay safe.
  4. Brian777

    Brian777 Safety and Support Forum Pro SF Supporter

    Hey Flitter, welcome to the forum. Depression is a tough road and it does take away your self esteem. I agree with @Petal in maybe getting some help, antidepressants and some counselling can really help. I'm working through a bad period of depression and anxiety myself, so I relate to how you feel, I do know that it does pass but it's difficult to remember that when you're going through it. As for the job, you know it's okay to call in sick, but please go to a doctor and get some help. You have some issues to work through from the past, but they can be dealt with and you can have a good life. Take care and express your feeling here, there's a lot of good and caring people on this forum dealing with similar problems.
    brknsilence likes this.