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Discussion in 'I Need Some Practical Advice' started by Ljt, Mar 8, 2018.

  1. Ljt

    Ljt Well-Known Member


    I am back on my medication for depression again. I had been off it for a couple of years but things at work have caused me a lot of pain.

    Should I tell my wife that I have depression. I never told her before. I kept it all to myself but I feel it’s going to be worse this time.

    Could I tell her I am taking medication for stress or something. I don’t know what to do!!
  2. Alwayswrong

    Alwayswrong Well-Known Member

    Hi! I don't see why having depression is something to hide. I don't know how your relationship with your wife is, but I would like my husband to trust in me and give me the chance to stand by him, as I would like him to do. A couple are two that are one. When you're depressed, energy is not something abundant, and to hide it from her you'deplete the scant energy left. If you believe she won't be able to deal with it, you might be surprised.
    Ljt and PawnSacrifice like this.
  3. Dawn

    Dawn Well-Known Member

    I too, think that u should tell her. It is so exhausting to hide things like this and it will cause problems eventually. Being authentic is always best, even tho it is hard sometimes. Take care
    Ljt, PawnSacrifice and Alwayswrong like this.
  4. Gonz

    Gonz Well-Known Member

    I’m going to assume that you have a reasonably healthy marriage, and that you trust her, since you didn’t say otherwise.

    Yes! You should absolutely tell your wife. Helping each other through rough times is one of the main things spouses are for. And aside from the help she can offer you, it’ll also help her. I mean depression impacts our behavior in so many ways, even when we’re doing our best to hide it. Sometimes especially when we’re trying to hide it. So odds are she’ll be able to tell there’s something going on with you, eventually if not right away, even if you’re able to mask the exact nature of the problem. Knowing what it is, and that you’re seeking treatment, will go a long way toward putting her mind at ease.

    I can tell you from personal experience that having a wife who understands what’s going on, and has your back, is literally the best thing in the world. Give her the chance to be that for you.
  5. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    Sorry to hear that you are gong through this

    The links in my signature have some information about treating depression that might be worth checking out.

    Agree that telling your wife is a good idea. Not a guarantee that she will respond well, but still probably best.

    Do you want to say what's going wrong at work?
  6. Walker

    Walker Everything Zen Staff Member Safety & Support SF Social Media SF Supporter

    Yes yes yes. You should tell her. How would you feel if the roles were reversed?

    And how can she support you if she doesn't realize that you need help? She deserves that and so do you :)
  7. Ljt

    Ljt Well-Known Member

    Thanks for the replies, I guess I am stuck in an old Fasioned way of I can’t let my guard down or show any chinks in my armour.

    I don’t know, I told my wife I am on medication for stress so it’s a start I suppose.

    I would never burden anyone with my work issues as it’s caused me great pain and I would put that onto anyone.
  8. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    You're welcome!

    Talking about what's wrong is what SF is for. If we really thought is was a burden to listen, we probably wouldn't be part of SF.