Advice

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Unregistered123780, Jul 5, 2007.

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  1. I have this fear of taking showers or going to the bathroom, specifically at my mom's place, and whenever I stay there I can't even take showers because I suspect that there are hidden cameras in there and the thing is I have to move back there this week. It's driving me crazy because I shower every single day and it's hot these days too so I have to shower, I don't know what to do because it's not like I can constantly go over to other people's houses to shower. If I don't shower I look and feel like complete crap in the morning so I try not to fall asleep whenever I'm over at that place and it's driving me nuts.

    More importantly my report card came and my mom is demanding to see it once it arrives, so I have one to three weeks at most before she realizes that I'm hiding it. I don't know what her reaction will be once she sees my scores but I just know it won't be positive, and I want to avoid confrontation at all costs.

    To add to that I have all these haters after my heels and I don't know how to get rid of them. I live in constant fear that I am going to be kidnapped or blackmailed or hurt in some way or another and it's extremely exhausting being alert and vigilant all the time. I alternate between wanting to kill people to just wanting to die because I just can't handle all this strain anymore.

    These days I purposely get riled up over nothing and find other distractions to fill my mind because I want to avoid thinking about all these problems and the ultimate consequence/solution. I'm considering death but my methods are pretty limited as of now and I've already experienced the consequence of not using the correct method or using a method incorrectly. I don't know what will come after death and that's what's preventing me from acting out because I'm afraid of going to Hell and I'm afraid of there being nothing at all. I don't see much hope for my present time and my future, I need to find a way to escape all this and the only solution (no matter how crappy) is death. I've already asked everyone for help, from my parents to my counselor at school but nobody gives a crap enough to help, just stick me in peer counseling where I tell a peer about my problems in a short 15 minute session and that's it, but I don't even have that now since it's summer.

    If anyone wants to give me any type of advice about suicide or my current situation or you just want to share personal experiences, email me at

    advicen@hotmail.com
     
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